Red Velvet

Chapter 1

This chapter is dedicated to Anna Todd (imaginator1D )because she weaves these emotional roller coasters and seems amazing.

'Miracles don't require magic,' the old sign hanging by a lose thread wound around a rusted nail has been the object of my attention since the past hour. The red velvet cupcake I ordered is sitting in front of me, half devoured. I occasionally play with my spoon or take a sip of my coffee which surprisingly is still warm, but does nothing to ease the frost that has settled inside me.

'Cupcakes & Miracles' is a small cafe in River Crest and the only place which serves remotely good coffee. I didn't use to come here much but lately I've been spending much more time here than at 'my' apartment.

Yes, quite obviously, Trevor moved out. He didn't even have the nerve to come collect his belongings and I didn't have the courage to pack his things up.

Parker did it for us. For him, I mean. As far as Parker is concerned, he is neutral ground. He is letting us deal with 'the break up' on our own and trying, as far as possible, not to get himself involved too much. He is the only connection that exists between myself and Trevor now.

Even saying his name brings back a flood of memories, I've been trying terribly hard to box up and push away. The pain feels worse than a thousand stab wounds and I break. They say it's a broken heart, but mine is a broken soul.

Even after a month I haven't been able to completely come to terms with this whole break up thing. Yes, it's been a month since the man I loved shattered me into a million tiny little pieces and walked away. The pieces that I've been desperately trying to pick up, the same ones I know that I won't be able too. Will I be ever able to?

I still haven't figured out what went wrong. For me, we were perfect.

My mind drifts back to that day in the hospital which changed everything.

"You're joking right?" I had forced a laugh and he had merely thrown me an apologetic look.

"No, no no...," I vigorously shook my head.

"Try to understand Shimmer, it's not working," he said weakly.

"What do you mean?" I still wasn't over the initial confusion and shock.

"You and I, us. We are not.....you know, working."

I was on the verge of tears and I had to keep my eyes peeled to stop them from falling. Those words sounded so foreign, rolling off his tongue. I hadn't expected them. I hadn't expected him to ever say that.

"It's the drugs," I went in denial. I could think of no other explanation.

"Trevor..you just, you just need to rest. These guys pumped so many drugs in your system. Look at all those tubes connected to your arm. You know you underwent a surgery, there was a bullet and you were shot and oh, there was so much blood. I-,"

"Shimmer," he didn't allow me to complete. The pain that his voice conveyed, made me shiver.

Trevor and I began seeing each other in high school. We were best friends, prom dates and each other's world. Of course I've heard him say my name a million times. It became so mundane, I forgot how it made me feel. The butterflies that once exploded in my stomach were long gone and the warmth of familiarity had settled in, enveloping my heart softly and completely. I didn't even realize it was there until now when it was there no more.