Smile For Me. [BoyxBoy]

His Hazels

"Ian." Mark called to me from down the hall and I hissed, stuffing my phone back in my pocket.

     Turning in the opposite direction, I dashed away from him, and out of the school building. I had already missed the first half of class so I might as well continue. Entering into the school's football field, the air suddenly got knocked out of my lung and I gasped when I fell to the ground, a heavy weight on top of me.

"Get off me you damn brick wall. Off!" I shouted and the person did just that.

     Glancing at the person groaning beside me, my eyes couldn't help but roll as Mark's green eyes met mine. Couldn't he just leave me alone? I really wanted to be away from him.

"Sorry." He said stiffly as he sat up and I glared at him, hating his very existence at the moment.

"Fuck your sorry. Leave me alone." I scoffed, rolling away from him and lifting myself off the grass. "You should just stay away from me. I would prefer that to you beating me again."

Mark visibly stiffened and he went on his knees in front of me. Something I hadn't seen him do in a very long time. "I'm sorry! I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have hit you. It was why I kicked you out in the first place. I knew I was going to hurt you if you stayed."

I gaped at him, my mouth dropping to the floor at his apology. The cold expression I had seen with him the morning had melted off and now his eyes were glazed over as if he was seconds from crying. His fingers were digging into the grass and it made me realize just how sincere he was. And I hated it.

God, why couldn't he just let me hate him? Let me hate him and pour all my anger on him.

"If you want to hit me," Mark continued abruptly and I was forced to meet his eyes. "Go ahead. I have hurt you more times than I can count. It is wrong and I should be punished."

"You want me to hit you?" I asked just to be sure.

He nodded. "If it would take the pain away then please, hurt me. I want to get rid of this guilt. It hurts and a lot worse when I think of you."

I honestly wasn't understanding a word he was saying. He was apologizing...so what? He meant it...so what? It was better if we weren't friends. It would be safer for me and it would be better for him.

Taking a deep breath, I released it and said with a weak smile. "Mark, let's break up."

"W-what?!"

"Let's stop being friends. I can't be friends with someone I can't trust at my back. We were supposed to protect each other but most of the harms were done by you. What kind of friendship would you call that? I do love you more than a friend but I would not want to be with someone who would put me in the hospital because he didn't like something I did."

Now would you look at that? I finally confessed then broke my own heart by breaking up with the person before it even started. What was wrong with me?!

"You can't!" Mark shouted out of the blue and my heart stopped cold at the tears that welled up in his eyes. "You-You can't... You can't just leave me. We've been friends since the first grade. You saved me. Al-all those times my sister wasn't there to stop me, you were, and I have been so grateful. If you s-stop being my friend... if you leave me, I'm going to go back. I'm going to start being angry at everyone and everything and I-I'm going to be angry at myself because it's my fault you left me."

My eyes couldn't meet his anymore. It was spoiling the image I had created of him. Mark never cried. But suddenly crying for me in the open where anyone could see him. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I telling him everything was okay? Why wasn't I getting on my knees to hold him my arms? Why was I turning away from him?