UNSEEN

THIRTEEN

I stare at the laptop screen and try to make sense of what I see. The fear, the realisation, suffocates me. It was right in front of me all these years. He never stuttered, never flinched, it's amazing.

I turn around to see if he's standing behind me. He's not. We're so absorbed in our own identities, we barely ever notice who the people living with us are.

Well, Evan Helmsman isn't Evan Helmsman. No, Evan Helmsman is a blonde man of the same age, who died seventeen years ago. The man living with us, sleeping with my mother, is someone else entirely. It doesn't say who.

The real Evan was from Ohio, unmarried when he died, orphan, didn't have many friends. The Evan downstairs, I assume, stole his social security number somehow.

Why? The real Helmsmen had a large will under his name left by his dead parents. After this man died, 'Evan' took it, which was pointless, because it was later seized in the year 2000.

So then, he married Jessica Hawfman, Jason's mom, in 2001. He then became a tax analyst in her father's company. A chill runs down my spine as I try to recall how Jessica died. I don't know.

He kept telling us it was a car accident. I see it now. He never met our eyes while saying her name. I should've known.

Should've known there are no accidents.

It's more of a disappointment than a shock. I really thought Evan was different. Well, as it turns out, he is. The other men my mother dated weren't criminals.

So, this is what I know now.

Evan isn't Evan.

Liv found out.

Evan killed Liv.

For the first time in a long time, I feel scared. Like, cold feet scared. There's just one thing that doesn't make sense.

Liv told Andrew about the pen drive a week before she died. What was she doing that week? The first thing she would've done was to tell the cops or at least tell mom. Why didn't she? And if she died the day she planned on doing it, why did she wait that long?

Only one way to know.

It's eight in the morning, they're down having breakfast. I grab my Swiss knife and the pen drive and run down. But what will I be able to do?

He's big enough to crush me and it's worse to think of all the things he'll do to mom and Jason. I don't know what I'm going to do, but the thrill's got me this far, it'll take me till the end.

It'll take me to my doom.

He's at the table, saying words I don't hear. Looking at him now, I realize why we never saw this coming.

Salt and pepper hair, the darkest eyes you'll ever see, He's a big man, indeed. But he doesn't look like someone who'd use his strength to get his way. He looks like an ordinary father. And that's what pisses me off even more.

It's like seeing lightning in a cloud. The cloud looks soft and empty, but when the lightning strikes, you can see all the shadows that dwell within it. The demons, they're visible now. And you can't look at the cloud the same way again.

There are times when I lose control of my body. When my heart begins to throb so hard against my chest, it hurts. When the blood in my veins gushes ahead faster than usual. And there is nothing- absolutely nothing- I can do to stop the rage that follows.

There is blood on his hands. Liv's blood.

"Reece." My mother says, looking startled and concerned at the same time.

"Put that down, please."

I've been thinking too much. I didn't realize until now that I'm clutching the knife. I look in the mirror above the mantle. My eyes are blazing red.

I see a fucking maniac.

I turn to Evan.

"What's your name?"

"What?" He looks at me, pretending he didn't hear me right.

"Who the fuck are you?" I show him the blue pen drive. All he does is roll his eyes.

"Honey, listen to me." He says.

"Don't ever call me that. Ever." I stare into his soul.

"Now, for the last time, what is your real name?"

He sighs. My mom begins to mutter something but he stops her. He's not reacting the way I expected him to.

"Reverend. Reverend Hipwell."

That name would ring in my ears for another century. I can't imagine myself calling him that. I can't imagine anyone calling him that.

I look at mom, but she doesn't look at me. She has her face in her palm. I'm not sure if that's something people do in shock.

"He's been lying to us. All this while. Mom, he' a...."

She interrupts me and in her cracking voice, says "I know."

"What?"

"Yes, his real name is not Evan and no, he didn't kill Olivia. None of us did."

I drop the Swiss knife and grab the chair in front of me to regain my balance. She knew. She knew.

I look at Evan. No, Reverend. But if he didn't do it, who did?

"It's time, Paula." He says. Then, he grabs the phone and goes out in the font yard.

"Who is he calling?" I ask.

"Reece, stop."

"Is he calling Doctor Tressman?"

She clutches my arm and screams.

"Reece, shut up!"

It's the first time she has hurt me. She is hurting me.

"I need you to listen to me, Okay? For once, just listen. And no matter what I tell you, don't be afraid. I'll always be there for you."

Everything turns blue. Blue is the colour of horror. The one you see behind werewolves and vampires under the dark sky. I can't put a finger on what is scaring me so much. I swear, I've never been more petrified. Is it the fact that despite being a fraud, my stepfather wasn't the one who killed my sister, or the fact that my mother has absolutely no problem living with him?

No. It is something deeper. It's almost like something inside me doesn't want to know the truth I've been dying to know. Like a part of me isn't ready to hear what my mother is going to tell me.

Blue. The darkest shade of blue, the colour that defines my existence. I can't make the blue go away.

"First of all, about Evan. We're going to always call him that.

Jessica knew what he had done when she married him, I knew when I married him. He told us because he regrets what he did. He never harmed anyone, hon. Evan helmsman was a dead man already. He does feel awful. But if he confesses now, or if you tell on him, he's going to go to prison. Then, what happens to Jason? He's going to hate him, Reece. This is exactly why Liv said nothing. He's a good man. He loves Jason, he loves me, he loves you and he loved Liv."

Secrets. I used to take pride in myself for being mysterious and secretive. But looking at everyone around me, I feel like an alphabet in a book full of cryptic words.

And suddenly, it hits me. The tingling starts again in the back of my head. Whatever she's about to tell me, I already know. And with more suddenness, I realize that I've always been the maniac I just saw in the mirror.

Blue.

"I lied to you at the hospital."

My stomach is knotting. Why can't I fully remember what happened that night?

And then, three words leave her mouth. Three words enough to shatter me into the tiniest pieces. Enough to make my heart stop. Enough to make me forget who I am.

You were there.