Zaxi

I could not let him down

I sat in a bench near the car, as I waited for them.

Hanna. Hanna. Was all my mind and soul could say.

Where was she? Her parents did not know, neither did the teachers. Now when this bitch knows, she won't say because it's CONFIDENTIAL. What could have happened to her?

Maybe tomorrow I would find some answers. Tomorrow seems like forever.

I had lost track of time, I did not know whether it was Monday or Saturday, I think I did breath, did I eat? No. Did I sleep, no. Only nightmares. Was my life normal? No.

What else can fate plan for me, I have lost everything I thought was mine, now I stay in my parents' house going through articles and clues looking for something, anything that would help me find those murders.

I got up and started walking. I don't know where I was going, but I kept walking. I was blank, would I ever find them? I thought about Hanna and Jacob and kept walking, they both were perfect for each other. They liked each other. Why did I survive? Could I not have not also died that day?

The picture of Hanna and Jacob came flashing to me, all memories I had of them, Birthday, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and not to forget summer break. Everything. I was sinking deep in my memories, sinking deep in my sorrow. I kept walking. Thinking maybe walking would bring me some relief but no. I still remember those walks me and Jacob went during the peak of winter, I would be in his arms and his blanket would have covered me and we used to walk.

As I kept walking I bumped into someone and both of us fell into the ground. The person was a blur to me as my eyes were filled with tears. I stayed in the ground.

"uh..djo..dano.ff.." The person said something but I could not hear anything. I did not even try to listen properly, I was busy sinking. The arm of the person held my arm tight and lifted me. And said something I did not hear.

I turned around and started walking again. Jacob, Jacob woods was all I heard and saw.

I kept walking until a hand held my wrist tight and did not let me go. I stood their without making a move, did I even breath, I don't know. I could hardly feel anything.

"helmmd.of.ddnoe..ccc...s.dof.." was all I heard, my mind could not even analysis anything.

"Amira..!!" Said the voice.

Yes, am Amira, Amira, yes, I think it is me.

I looked at the person and slowly my eyes could clearly see.

"Amira, what happened?" said the voice.

I looked up and my eyes analysed the features, slowly but steady, it looked like Martin.

"You look like my friend martin." I said wiping my tears off.

"Amira, I am martin. Now tell me what happened?" he said. But before I could say anything he walked beside me and caught hold of a boy, the boy seemed familiar.

"You bumped into her, did you hurt her? Speak up." Martin said.

The boy said in return, "She bumped into me, and listen don't you dare touch Amira. Amira is mine. Who do you think you are speaking to?"

I was still drowning.

The boy was no one else, it was Richard. I looked down only to find Zaxi looking at me.

They both started fighting but I was no longer listing, I started to walk again and this time Zaxi joined me.

We kept walking and walking, we looked nowhere but at the ground.

My heart is gold and my hands are cold.

I could feel nothing, no feeling, no emotions. Was I human? Maybe, maybe not.

There was a pond and near that many benches were placed. I walked towards these benches and sat on one of them. Many people were there but they were all blur to me.

The song Gasoline by Halsey came to my mind. I could actually relate to it.

I still remember when I heard this song for the first time, I could not relate to it and now it feels like it has been written for me. How time and situations change people is incredible.

Suddenly I felt weird and started walking around the pond, which was more a lake.

The thought on how useless I was, and coward I was made me laugh on myself. I looked straight at my path I was about to walk on but everything was out of focus like my life. I didn't know why I should live, for whom shall I live. For myself? I don't think so.

I kept walking, my legs were paining but my heart was paining more. And walking seemed better. I pained no attention to anything, was walking like a dead person.

Hours passed by and I could no longer walk, I fell on the ground.

I could cry no more, I could no longer run away from my problems, I had to face it.

It was almost 8.00 as the streets were empty and the street lights were on. I had no idea for how long I had been walking like a dead person and crying. Now I lay on the ground and my eyes were pleased to see the stars and my nose was happy as the place had smell of wet soil, a typical smell which only comes during the rain.

As I closed my eyes, Jacob came to my mind. It looked more or less like a dream. He was there hugging me and telling me, "Do what you think is right, follow your heart. And remember I will always be with you. I love you Amie. Don't be afraid of anyone or anything ever, and I believe you would fight you problems and not run away from them Amie. Be brave." He said this to me on last Christmas after giving me my Christmas gift.

I could not let him down. No I just could not.

I got up and found that Zaxi was still with me, and I ran and Zaxi followed. As I ran my hair got untied and the wind rushed through my hair, I felt great. I was going to find out those idiots and punish them.

Enjoy this moment, assholes, for am coming to catch you and take away everything you think is yours.