Zaxi

Baby Shower

Each and every letter is dedicated to my dear Amira.

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

I could never have gained enough courage to let you know this by myself, so that's why I am writing you these letters. I hope you understand every action I had taken, though I would not dare to justify any, I just prayer that you forgive me for everything I have ever done. Cause I was never able to forgive myself.

This day holds a great importance that why I have started to write these letters on this day. 9 July 2004, was the day I first met you, my dear Amie. But that was sadly the last day for your parents. To explain that day I need a lot of courage, but I know some day you would find out everything, and most probably hate me.

No matter who or what I forgot I would never be able to forget that day, every single detail in registered deep down my heart. But there is something you got to know before I tell you the biggest secret of your life.

You would have to know me, I am pretty sure when you would be reading this I might be dead or in coma, because while I am breathing I would never let know not because I don't want you to know but because I am a coward, I could never face you after you knew everything, you know me as your brother, Jacob Woods. But you surely don't know what I was, you don't know my past, my life being an Allen.

I was born on 12 April 1990, I was born into a small family which consisted a father and a mother, and I was their first born. My Father, Mr. Barry Allen and mother Mrs. Iris Allen. Until the age of eight I was fairly brought up by love and a good value system.

My dad worked for the police department and my mom was a school teacher. My mom's family were against my mom marrying my dad as he was a cop, my mom's family was a very quiet and peaceful one.

Everything was normal until my mom's younger brother joined the police department, they tried convincing him but he never changed his decision. They did not hear anything from him for years. The only news they received was the news of their dead son, he was shot twice in the chest during a sudden attack in the police station he was assigned in.

After my mom married dad against their wishes, they broke all contact with him. Only after I was born grandma turned up to check on me. But that was only once.

As far as my dad was concern, he lost his dad somewhere when he was doing his college, he had a heart attack and my grandmother stayed in her house back in the countryside. My grandmother was the only source of love for my parents. My dad had an elder brother and a younger sister, both were married and were doing well in life, but they lived quite in different countries and thus I never really knew them.

My life was normal as any child could expect until my mom was conceived again, this news did not make me feel insecure or grow anger for that child but it in fact brought me enormous amount of joy and love for the unborn child. Every day I used to spend quality of time with the unborn baby, trying to figure out what it was doing by putting my ear and hands in my mother's stomach. Every day I saw how it grew, slowly day by day I could see mom's stomach getting big and big. And mom used to say the baby is healthy whenever she used to get a little fat stomach.

When it was the eighth month it was revealed that it was a baby girl. I still remember the amount of happiness it brought me, I used to go crazy and tell every student around me that I was going to be a big brother soon.

But life always has its own way, doesn't it. The delivery day of the baby was reviled. Everything was ready, but it seems my family ran out of luck.

When my parents got married the moved into a different city and shortly after settling down there, my mom was pregnant. So she never really went to work after marrying, and she had no friends in the new town and my grandmother was sick, so my mother did not have a baby shower. But circumstances change, don't they. Her friends who were more like family had hosted a baby shower for the child which was going to be born in a few weeks.

That day was a day I could never forget, that day the joy I saw in mom's face could not be brought with all the wealth in the world. The day was filled with joy and happiness, since boys were not allowed me and dad waited until the party was over. Once we received a call from mom we went to pick her up.

Everything was fine until then, everyone was happy and contended. Until that moment. It was

Saturday, 24 August 2000, when her baby shower was conducted. And the baby was supposed to be born the next week.

That day was neither warm, neither cold. Though we had a car we left it in the resort, for emergency purpose. I and dad had to walk all the way to collect mom. Everything seemed normal. We reached their well on time it was quarter to nine. And we collected mom and we all walked towards the parking which was behind the resort kitchen.

As we walked we could hear few voices and it felt like someone was following us. The parking area was not too bright and when we went there no one was present. My dad felt the strangeness and suddenly took out his gun for emergency. It was not long before few people whose faces were covered showed up, and my dad for once knew they brought trouble. He then commanded me to take mom and go take cover. Since mom was expecting the baby any time soon she could not walk fast or move too much we were forced to hide behind a car. They emotions mom was going through was unbearable to watch, shooting started, I could hear many people shouting.

Mom had started crying at first I thought it was because of the attack but then she told me that the baby is going to be born now. she was in labour pain. She then sent me to go to the resort and call the police and the ambulance. Though I was quite young I had a fairly good height and a strong body, not only that but my dad had brought me up quite fearless. I walked towards the resort, slowly, behind each car, looking at all directions possible but when I thought I had reached there some of the men who were with the attackers were there. I sat behind a car and tried my best to listen to what they were saying,

Attacker 1: This guy is surely dead today, I don't want to leave his son alive. I am pretty sure he would come here asking for help.

Attacker 2: That just great. This boy thinks he is too smart just like his father, today let's teach them a lesson today.

I tried hard to hear more but I could not. But one thing was for sure if I went there, they would catch me. I turned my back and started walking towards mom. But I was too late, these attacker caught me by my collar and pulled me towards them. They were not so tall but I could not free myself from them. They further dragged me towards the guy who looked like the boss, the guy who was mainly shooting. They were 3 guys who were shooting, but since my dad was best in his job he was able to manage them. But everything changed.

The guy who looked like the boss dragged me in the centre.

Boss: If you wish to see your son alive come in front of me.

Me: Dad no, please no. Please go away from here. Please dad don't come here, please dad.

Dad appeared in front of me. His eyes were red as he was losing everything he loved. His expression was not readable. I would rather die than see him in such a state.

Dad: Take your hand off my son you asshole. If you were born to a mother leave my family alone and let's fight, no weapons.

The guy made no move but his face just turned red with anger. He left me and moved towards dad.

Dad: Son run, run and dont look back. Run.

And so I did. I ran and did not look back until I heard a gun fire.