The Dysfunctional Affair

Oleg Borisovich

Kenzie and Alex both snored beside me. Two of my Great Danes were also in my room. They snored louder than either girl. The Pamprin had really zonked the dogs out. However, even the pain meds and the armed guards didn't help me sleep. I tossed and turned in my normally wonderful bed. The muscles in my neck and shoulders were tight from stress. I would need to see a chiropractor and a massage therapist, if I survived long enough to make the appointment.

In the distance a dog or coyote let out a long, mournful howl. Under normal conditions, one or more of my dogs would have answered. Tonight, they were too tired to hear him and too drugged to care. Maybe I shouldn't have given them a Pamprin.

My ears strained listening for other noises. A computer or radio was playing softly downstairs, no doubt helping to keep one of the sentries awake. Beyond that, there was very little noise. The furnace groaned and popped as it heated up. However, with it being winter, there weren't any insects outside to chirp and sing.

It was too quiet. I don't live in the city, I live outside of it on a two lane black top road. My nearest neighbor is about half a mile away. It is nearly impossible to see the road or the entrance to my driveway from the house. However, there were still traffic noises.

Despite the narrow highway, it was part of suburban Kansas City. My house was one of many estates in a long line along the road. The entire area had been sold off in large wooded lots to people with enough money to purchase such things. As a result, there were teenagers coming and going at all hours. There were adults coming and going at all hours and the road was traversed by through traffic, headed to and from Raytown, as long as they didn't mind taking the back way.

Tonight there was none of that. It was eerie to hear almost nothing. I climbed from bed and headed downstairs. It was still a challenge, but I was healing. Vlad sat on the couch, a TV showed the driveway entrance. His laptop played quiet music.

"Can't sleep?" He asked.

"No, it's too quiet. How many cars have gone past?" I pointed at the TV, surprised to find one working and mounted to my wall.

"None in the last hour or so."

"Where'd the TV come from?"

"Ivan brought to us."

"That's odd." I gazed at the screen. Nothing moved on it except some tree branches in time with the wind. "It is the weekend, right?"

"Ivan bringing us a TV or that it's a Saturday night?" Vlad asked.

"It's Saturday." I said.

"Yeah," Vlad answered.

"So where are all my neighbors?"

"You don't have neighbors."

"Not in the traditional sense, but I do have neighbors. Someone should be out. There isn't any snow on the ground, no ice covering the roads, the temperatures aren't even below freezing, so where are they?"

"How much traffic are we talking about?" Vlad asked.

"Enough that I moved the sensors about twenty feet back from the road, because at least once a night, someone would set them off driving too close to the shoulder. Or someone would get lost and turn around in my driveway." I had suspicions that if the police ever put up a DUI checkpoint on the road, most of my neighbors would be spending a night in jail.

I had some perimeter alarms, but they were also near the road. The back of my land butted up to conservation land. Animals had set off the side and back perimeter alarms, so I had uninstalled them some time ago.