Teenage Crush

Idiot

Did you ever just wonder how much of an idiot one person can be? Do you just get the urge to duck tape them shut and throw them in a closet so you don't have to look at their stupid face ever again? Yeah I'm getting that urge right now.

At this moment, Asher is running around my house yelling at the top of his lungs. Why, you may ask? Because he snuck through my open room window while he was drunk. I was dead asleep so I couldn't exactly slam the window on his fingers. I've been yelling at him to calm the fuck down for about an hour.

An hour. That is an hour that I wasted off of my life span. That is a crime especially since it's five in the morning.

"Cooooooome ooooooon. Come at meeeeee!" he yelled somewhere in my house. Yes, I lost him but honestly, it doesn't take that long to find him since he cannot stay quiet when he's drunk. I run upstairs to see this moron jumping on my bed. And he was also wearing my bra on his head.

"You stupid moron!" I jump to try and tackle him but he just jumped over my head and rolled on the floor.

"Too slooooooow!" He yelled as he got up and ran out.

I'm going to go crazy. Like bat shit crazy. Like i'm going to murder someone crazy.

"Motherfudgepickles!" I heard a deep voice yelling as I ran downstairs to see Asher with a jar of pickles. He waved the pickle around as if it was a magic wand or some shit like that.

"Dude, put that down that's disgusting," I state while trying to snatch the pickle from his grasp. We end up playing tug-o-war with the pickle until it broke in half and dropped to the floor. I bent over to pick it as but as I bent down, I felt something smack my ass. Hard. And when I said hard I meant he took a stool and hit my butt with it causing me to face plant into the pickle on the floor.

"Hahahaha you pickle faaaace." He giggles and ran away.

I mumbled to myself as I got up, threw the the pickle in the trash and ran after him. He jumped on the couch and started jumping from couch to couch while yelling about how the floor was lava and that it was really really hot.

"You won't burn," I reassured him in the same voice you use to talk to toddlers.

"Yes I will. My mommy said so." And you know what he does next? Guess. Please guess because I'm sure it's better than what he looks like he's going to do next.

"STOP!" I yelled too late. This moron stuck a finger in his mouth and cannon-balled right onto the wooden coffee table. Not only did he break the table but he knocked his head on the floor and passed out.

Passed out. Bleeding. Well it wasn't really blood but well it should've been blood with how hard his head hit that floor.

"Stupid. Moron. Idiot. Fucking hell dude why?" I dragged his body onto the couch and made sure his head was on a soft pillow. I can't believe I have to take care of his sorry ass after all of the shit he has done today. And it's still only the beginning of the day.

I'm so done with him right now.

SORRY ITS SHORT BUT IM WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER WHICH WILL BE LONGER.