Guardian Angel | Toru

Chapter 8: Words

Toru and I are walking side by side together near a park after eating lunch. Carefully lifting up my head, there isn't a single cloud in the sky but the color of baby blue painted above our heads. What stands out the most though, is the sun and its rays that sweep against my skin along with the delicate wind.

After taking in my surroundings, I glance at Toru. He has been awfully quiet. Too quiet. He usually would be the one to start a conversation and because of this unexpected offer to treat me out to lunch, it is only normal to expect a reason from him.

Just as I am about to mention something, I feel a single drop of liquid hit my cheekbone. Then, another..and another. I am so confused that my feet stop in its tracks. Just a minute ago I was admiring the clear sky and perfectly nice weather. Toru stops walking too. I realize this when my eyes start to rest on a tall figure in front of me. At that moment, I can't feel the droplets of rain hit my face anymore and it is because of that thing I was going to mention to him earlier.

"So that's why you have an umbrella with you..It didn't even look like it was going to rain earlier...What is it?"

When I take another glance at Toru, he is holding an umbrella above both of our heads while his other hand is shoved in his jean pocket. His head is also hanging a bit low. However, I can still see the small snicker on his face that he tries to hide with his bangs.

"Nothing."

"That wasn't 'nothing'."

"I just remembered something that's all."

"Really? Tell me."

I can now see a hint of sadness behind his eyes when he finally makes the effort to look into mine, but once he does, he lets his eyes drop to the asphalt ground once more.

"There was this girl I knew back in high school. I barely knew who she was..Why I met her..How we suddenly became 'friends'. To be honest, I'm glad we did. And because we didn't reveal too much about our lives, we comfortably talked and listened to each other. We continued to meet up and do that every night. But..."

"...But..?"

"The night we were supposed to meet up and I was supposed to tell her something important...She never showed up. It was raining too."

"So you waited for her in the rain and she never showed up?? How cruel! Did you get to see her the next night?"

"No. Not the next night."

"Oh. Even the famous Toru-san goes through something like that. I mean..I'm sorry to hear you got stood up like that."

Toru weakly snickers again and continues to lay his head low.

"Yeah. I did get to see her again though. Not that night or the next, but very recently."

"Really?? How? What happened?"

"You're asking too many questions..Like last time."

I can't catch what Toru fully says since he whispers his last words.

"Huh? Don't start something and not finish it! Tell me."

I am now whining like a child asking for a new toy. Toru, on the other hand, hesitates to continue to talk any more about his past.

"I have to go somewhere else now. Thanks for eating lunch with me today. Here."

Toru reaches his hand that is no longer shoved into his front jeans pocket towards my dominant hand to take it so he can place the handle of his umbrella into mine.

"My ride is here and since your studio is only a few blocks from here, you take this."

"But-"

And in a blink of an eye, he's gone again.

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"Y/N..."

"Uncle..! What is it? Class is going to start soon....What's wrong?"

"Your mother...She's gone."

"...What are you talking about? Like she's gone home? She's finally been released from the hospital-"

"No, Y/N. She's gone. This morning she.."

I could have sworn that time stood still the moment my uncle who works as a teacher at my school mumbles such words out of his whimpering lips.

She was doing so well after the treatments she was given. At least, she looked like she was.

I guess I was wrong.

The day my mother passed was the longest day ever even though I did get to skip class and leave school early. The first place I was taken to was the hospital to meet up with my family members and relatives along with a sight of something I never expected to see so soon. When I do, my whole world starts to crumble that I let myself completely break down. It takes not only me, but the rest of my family a while to take everything in. We all stay at the hospital for a while and when it is finally time to go home, it starts to rain. It's as if the sky is crying. Knowing the fact that the sky keeps crying even past midnight worried me. I know I shouldn't have felt guilty for not stepping a foot out of the house since I finally decided to obey my own parent after coming from the hospital. There was also a high possibility that guy wasn't even out there with his guitar, but for some reason, I couldn't help but worry. In the end, I didn't get a wink of sleep not only because of the loss of my mother, but because of him.

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My lazy eyes suddenly flicker open.

"What....Tears?"

I gently touch my skin near the apples of my cheeks and the sides of my face to only feel dampness. Most likely because of my own salty tears.

It's understandable.

I dreamt of something that I am certain of what it is-a memory. A memory that I tried to hide in the back of my mind for who knows how long.

• • • •

Today, I decide to go somewhere alone since it is my day off.

I go to the resting place of my mother and grandmother. For the first time in forever, I am stopping by the cemetery. Of course, along the way, I buy two bouquets of flowers that I know they would love and when I arrive there, I set them down in front of them and do my prayers before speaking.

"Hey, Mom..Grandma."

An awkward smile spreads across my lips.

"How are you? I guess I'll speak to you first, Mom..."

Great. The corner of my eyes is already starting to burn.

"I know and I know you know I haven't been coming to visit you. It's hard for me too, you know? Also, you know me..I have always been like this..Running away from my problems and forgetting all the bad things that have happened to me."

I scoff at my own words.

"When I already know the right thing to do is to face them and accept them. I don't know if you would forgive me or not, but I'll say it anyways. I'm sorry...Che, I bet you want to scold me so bad right now. As you can see, something came over me though, that I even came to visit and bring you your favorite flowers. Crazy, huh?"

When I am done speaking to my mother, I quickly wipe my eyes so I can take a clear look at my grandmother's grave.

"Grandma, I bet you're happy up there with Grandpa yeah? You're not in pain anymore either."

For some reason, it's harder for me to speak when it comes to the topic I am going bring up. It's because I didn't think I would be believing in such a thing to this day.

"You know that Guardian Angel you were talking about? You're right. I did find him and his name is Toru Yamashita."

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