Club None

IV.

"The keys to the camper."

Four drinks in, first bash of the night.

Ellie held out her hand.

"Now, Alice."

"No." Petulant, her step-sister leaned back, limbs curving in the twilight's iridescent glow. Her voice caught and blended with the crowd. "Let's get out of the crush." she leaned a little closer. "I want to meet more musicians!"

Ellie shook her head. She rested one hand on her swollen stomach and winced. "You want to hook up with more musicians, Alice – that's not quite meeting them."

"Well," Alice said, emerging, a coy smile creeping across her face, "what's the difference, if they never remember your name?"

"You're..." she looked across the festival grounds, absent-minded. "...lucky I'm not more condescending."

"You agreed to come."

"I said I wanted to leave – not jump into a groupie free-for-all. Did you?"

"Come on." Alice shimmied a pack of cigarettes from her jeans. Smoking – her newest habit – hadn't been kicked yet. "A little party never killed nobody."

Ellie pulled her elbows closer to her body. "I'd rather not take my chances."

"Dear, my dear. The best way to screw with his head is to have the damn thing aborted already."

"No!" she pressed her fingers into her ribcage. "Alice, I want Indigo."

Alice shook her head. Step-sisters were so stubborn sometimes. "Just like you wanted the first one, right? And where is she." she blew out a stream of smoke, leaned in closer. "I know a hole, deep in the ground, where the souls of dead children gather around –"

The first one. The first one. Ellie stifled a scream. The first baby had been Duane's, yes, and now it was gone, and this one he thought to be his as well, yes, but it wouldn't have his coal-black eyes or his violent –

"Stop it." she screwed her eyes shut. "Do you have to be so – so – impossible half-drunk?"

Her step-sister pointed a steadying finger at her. "Not drunk. Yet. Do you have to be such a prude? Duane isn't coming to avenge his unborn child. He trusted you to take care of it. Now it's your problem, because you haven't, and when he comes around –" she jabbed the butt of her cigarette toward her sister's stomach "– it's mercifully obvious how he'll react. Do you want that?"

Mocking to angry to worrying, in one swift jump. Alice slung an arm around her shoulders, leaned down-soft hair against her neck. "Don't be foolish, dearest," she whispered. "I couldn't bear it."

Overhead, the moon cracked across the sky. Purple bled into shredded white clouds. Darkness stained the fine, semi-transparent edges. Ellie traced the changes with her fingers, pulling the soft fluff apart and pushing it back together.

"I chose this," she said. "I chose it."

Lies.

Nothing about this pregnancy had been a choice. Before she fell asleep at night the imprint of her step-brother's face taunted at her. White sheets, brown-crusted stain. Tears tight at her eyes. His fingerprints carved into her legs. Lightning, jagged and terrible, blurring through the smudged window glass. Nothing had been a choice but this: Indigo.

Duane had taken too much from her. Her soul, her spirit, her ambition. Even her career – he manipulated her YouTube channel into a business that benefited him and drained her creativity. This child was one of the few things left she cared enough to keep.

"Darling." Alice pushed shorn bangs off her forehead, cautious and concerned. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," Ellie said. "Keys, please."

"Before you get drunk?"

She closed her eyes. "I'm not getting drunk. I can't get drunk. I don't want to get drunk. Please. Alice."

"Fine, fine. One musician. Come meet him, with me, and the keys are yours."

"You mean: come guard the door while you two...rendezvous?"

"Yes."

Ellie dipped her chin toward her chest. "Hang in there, Indigo," she murmured. "This weekend is close to ending." wrists quivering, she took her step-sister's arm. "Be glad I love you, sometimes."

"I'm so glad!" Alice kissed her cheek. "Glad beyond words. Now let's go – I heard he's seven feet tall and be-yoo-ti-ful."