Kpop Imagines

She's gone (Joshua)

Trigger warning
Please don't read if your sensitive

Not proof read so sorry if there is any mistakes
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Eunji POV

Just another day gone to waste, another day were I feel like my mind is just spining and I can't stop it no matter how hard I try or how hard I want it to. I'm all alone, yes I do have family but friends well I don't know about that. I do have a boyfriend but I don't know if I should call him that anymore. He doesn't pay me any attention at all, all I have done was provide love and friendship to everyone but it gets all thrown back at me but I feel selfish for feeling this way like I have no right be sad at times, Joshua just thinks I am just beening over dramatic but this has been happening at lot lately and I don't know what to do. I just get thrown away to the side by my own boyfriend who is supposed to cherish and love me but that does not happen. He leaves early in the mornings and comes home late at night with no hello or goodbye. I get that he has work but even when he has a free day he still doesn't spend it with me not even 5 minutes, he just goes back out and spends it with his band that he sees everyday. I have just been feeling a lone for months, I have no one to go to my family is across the other side of the planet and I have no friends. I was always told that if you do good things to others you will only get happiness back but were is my happiness, it's no where to be seen. All of theses thoughts are rolling around in my head and there's no off switch. I am currently sat on the cold tiles on Joshua's and I's shared bathroom thinking about how life was going for me, it wasn't good. Me being in this head space is bad and you never know what could happen.

I stand up and walk to the mirror to see a broke person lookin back at me, it doesn't even look like me it looks like filth, just some broken, pathetic girl who can't do anything right. The demons are talking again, tormenting me, I haven't heard them since I started dating Joshua but everything is broken and cant be fixed, its been broken for far too long and I can't take this anymore.

All I can do is stare at this twisted form of what use to me and felt sick. I'm tired of looking like this, it's all getting to much for me to handle. I smash my fists on the mirror and watch the reflective glass shatter around and under it. I just laugh to myself, I lift my bloodied hand from the now broken mirror and watch the mesmerizing crimson liquid trikel from my hand, down my arm. I grabbed a sharp piece of glass and sat back down on the ice cold tiles. The shock of the cold ran shivers up my spine, I just chuckled to myself like a mad woman. I have finally snapped and no one can help, no one will ever help.

My grip on the glass shard tightened and all I could do was stare at the blood falling from my hand. I roll my shorts up high and reveal the ugly red lines that scattered my legs, that no one knew about not even Joshua. Not like he would care anyway, he's never here, he doesn't look at me with love, all I can see is disgust and boredom that now lie behind his eyes. My family always pushed me to side and only paid attention to my younger siblings, it sucks being the oldest doesn't it? Friends well what friends last time I thought, I was just a nobody who would what to be friends with me like I said I get pushed aside for someone better. I silently laugh to myself, I have no one.

I bring the shiny glass down on my leg and make a few slices, I hum at the familiar sting, I keep slashing at my legs until I feel numb. I saw a tear fall and land amongst all the mess and noticed that I have been crying this only time, I have always been crying out with little attention. All I could see was red I pulled myself up with as much strength I had left in my trembling body and started making a mess of the bathroom. I ripped the shower curtains off the shower, threw all the bottles of body wash and hair products, pulled the draws from the sink and smashed them on the ground making all the contents from them scatter all over the floor. I let out my last scream of pain escape from my throat as I felt my body go fusy and my sight go blury, as my body finally come into contact with the floor for the last time. "Bye my love" was the last thing as I see a smashed picture of Joshua and I on our first date on the ground next to me and as I felt my body go light and shut down.

Joshua's POV

I am finally home from hanging out with the guys from seventeen. Once I got inside I was hit with an uneasy feeling in my gut. Where is Eunji? She usually greets me from the door and sets dinner for me. She might just be in her bed, she hasn't been herself lately, I think she might be coming down with the flu or something. I have been to busy to take care of her but she's a strong girl she could take care of herself. I went up to our bedroom to put my coat away and to take a nap. Once I was in my room I was now hit with the smell of something metallic and that was not a good sign. I saw the master bathroom door slightly ajar and the light on. I quickly made my way towards the bathroom and saw I horrific sight, a sight I never wanted to see. I saw her on the ground pale and lifeless like a porcelain doll. I scrambled my way over to her and collapsed next to her. I shakily pulled her towards my body, I saw the blood smudged and dripping from her hands and legs, what happened? Why did this happen? Why would she do this? I couldn't think straight, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed the ambulance, hopefully she can still be saved. The cries of pain and hurt were escaping me, I couldn't hold them back. The love of my life has now been taken from me and the scary thing about it was I can't do a thing to help. I am the worse person alive, I never deserve the love she gave me. I saw that she was being different, I could see that she was suffering from something and I did nothing about it. I didn't even ask how her day was or gave her a kiss goodnight. I could have been here to stop her today but I just decided that hanging out with the boys would be fun instead of having fun a dm catching up with my own girlfriend. She was suffering in silence and never complained. How could I live with myself when I am the reason for this happening to the most selfless and caring woman I have ever loved or meet?

The ambulance finally came and got her they all look uneasy and all hope was gone from them. My heart sunk as I saw one of them shake their head the direction of another. My breath was pulled out of my chest as one came to comfort my and tell me that she didn't make it. They put her into a body bag and made the way out with her I screamed out again until y voice went horse. I just lost the only thing that made me happy, I should have been here, she would still be alive. I start to stand but as I was doing that something caught my eye, it was a photo of Eunji and I one our first date. I picked it up and held it close to my heart and let a few tears stray me eyes. "I am sorry... I will always love you" I whispered feeling numb. I will never feel her touches on my skin again, see her beautiful face or her sweet voice speak. She is gone.