Low Life {~A Nate Maloley Fanfic~} #Wattys2016

Chapter 30: Insecure Feelings

{~song for chapter: Scars To Your Beautiful-Alessia Cara~}
Yasmin's POV:
~7 months later~
I wake up to two heads in front of me.
"Hi mommy" Kitana says
I giggle
"Hi girls"
"Good morning beautiful" Nate says walking in with breakfast on a tray
I blush
"Nate you didn't have to.."
"I wanted to! Your my wife & you deserve it. You raise 3 kids..that's a lot."
"You try to help tho" I say smiling
"Yes but I'll be helping more" he says
"Like tonight..dinner is gonna be made by me" he adds
"Nate no.."
"I insist!"
"Fine.." I say
"Now eat & I'll bring Zion to you" he says
I giggle & I start eating the delicious food he made me.
Damn my baby can cook.
~a while later~
I'm holding Zion
He's giggling
I play with him
"Hi Zion!" I say
He smiles
He has dimples just like his father.
His daughters have dimples too.
I sit on the floor to play with the girls
I put him on the floor
He crawls usually so..I let him crawl around..like usual..
Nate plays music through the house.
He's making dinner
I see Zion try to stand himself up
I yell
"Nate!"
Nate runs over & I see Zion walk over to his father.
I freak out forming tears in my eyes
"My baby walked"
Zion falls on his butt
but giggles & gets back up again.
Already a tough boy.
~a hour later~
It's nap time so I put Kitana,Noel & Zion down for a nap.
I look in the mirror
I lift up my sweater & I play with my small tummy I have.
I frown.
My thighs are huge.
I have a tummy.
My body's changed since the kids.
I feel awful when I have to wear bikini's because people stare at me weird.
I know I look bad in one.
I wanna get a one piece.
I made a decision to officially stop wearing Bikinis to wear Bathing Suits instead.
I tear up.
I'm not beautiful like the girls Nate works with lately.
His latest music video had a beautiful girl in it
(Referring to We Can Do)
I feel awful not only she's beautiful.
Her body is killing my self esteem alive..
I throw myself on the bed
I didn't realize I left the door open when I let out a huge cry
I start talking to myself
"Look at you..you got cellulite"
"You got a tummy" I say
"You got thighs that suffocate anyone"
I tear up again
I put my head down looking at the floor
"She just wants to be..beautiful..she goes unnoticed.."
Two arms wrap around my waist..
"How could you speak to yourself like that?" Nate says
"Your beautiful..you have no idea how crazy you drive me.."
"Your thighs are perfectly fine.."
"No." I croak out
"Yes." He says rubbing his hand on my thigh
"Your tummy? Babe..it's normal. You had 3 kids"
"Please don't remind me..I look awful after 3 kids" I say covering my face
"No you don't. You are so beautiful & sexy" he says caressing my face
"No...compared to that girl..in your video..I could never look as great as her"
He makes me face the mirror again
He grabs me
"You see yourself?"
I nod
"That's a beautiful girl standing in a mirror. The girl is a model..& obviously I don't feel anything towards her..you know why?"
"Why?" I say looking at the floor
He lifts my chin with his finger
"Because I have a wife. Not a girlfriend..a wife at home who I love to death. Who is my best friend..who I can talk about anything to..who listens & cares about me...someone who gave me not one but three amazing kids..I love my wife.." He says
"Just the way she is.." He adds kissing my neck
"She craves attention..she praises a image..she prays to be sculpted..by the sculptor"
I kiss him passionately
"Nate..the food" I say in between kisses
"Oh yeah" he says
"I turned it off when I heard you cry" he adds
"I don't like seeing you cry" he says cupping my face.
"Nate..it's just hard with me having 3 kids & all"
"That's why I'm gonna make it easier for you. I want you to love yourself though"
He says
I nod tearing up
He's so sweet.
He pecks my lips
I hear Zion's cries from his crib
I smile & I walk out of the room to get Zion.
~meanwhile~
Cayenne's POV:
Ugh Jake bought me a bikini for a vacation we're gonna have with his family.
I'm sure I'll get dirty looks for it.
I look huge.
I frown at the view of myself in the mirror.
I yell
"YOU LOOK SO UGLY! Why would your husband love you?"
I cry in my pillow
A hand taps my shoulder making me jump slightly
I turn my face to see Jake looking at me
"Why do you talk down about yourself like that?"
He says frowning
"Tell me the truth I'm huge aren't I?"
"Babe you had 3 kids"
"I know I remember JAKE!" I say crying a bit
My body's changed since the kids.
Jake cups my face
"Your beautiful just the way you are.."
"But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark..you should your beautiful just the way you are.."
"What if your family doesn't like how I look?"
"Screw them." He says
"Plus I'm sure they'll love you & the kids" he adds
He kisses my forehead
"I love you Jake"
"I love you too" he says wrapping his arms around me
I kiss him & a small voice is heard
"Mommy...EWWW!" Amelia says covering her brothers eyes
I giggle & I pick them all up
I throw them on the bed & we tickle them
~meanwhile~
Yasmin's POV:
Kitana,Noel & Zion are asleep.
After the house got cleaned up
I took a shower & I walk out in only a Bra & Panties
"Do you really think I don't have to change anything?" I say doing a pose for him
He licks his lips
"Nothing you have to change.."
"Stop staring perv" I say smirking taking off my bra & slipping on a shirt
I climb in bed & I lay my head on my pillow
Nate cuddles me in his arms
"I love you" he says
"I love you too baby" I say & I peck his lips
We fall asleep in each other's arms
Suddenly all of the insecure feelings left..
Since I knew he loved me just the way I was...
"You don't have to change a thing...the world can change its heart"