Chance meeting

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The worst times to make a decision are when you're angry, depressed or just upset.

It didn't stop me from choosing to stay with Jung Kook for a last minute trip, even though we had only ever flirted online. It was never meant to be anything more, not just because of the difference in our ages, not because of his job and not because he live on the other side of the world, but because I was scared of wanting more from our friendship after a previous disaster. I knew he wanted more but it was unlikely to ever happen where we lived so far apart so I had told him to just accept it.

We "met" by chance after he had been playing around on Kakao Talk, a Korean instant messenger that was free to use and available worldwide. As a dare I had set my username as Bacon Kimbap as it was one of the few things I bothered making when I wasn't just ordering in due to overworking.

After getting over our initial language barrier we were comfortable with the lack of depth to our conversations in the beginning. Jung Kook had insisted on sticking to English despite being terrible at it so I found myself teaching him more and more as time passed, while I was picking up Korean from him and some apps on my phone. We eventually progressed from texting to calling and video chats, although my screen was always blank or a picture I had drawn.

I knew he would eventually insist on seeing me sooner or later and I noticed him becoming bolder and more confident in himself as time passed. I both dreaded and was curious to see how he would behave towards me once he finally got to see me. He'd drop all sorts of innuendoes and I'm almost sure I had heard him masturbating during one of our phone calls while he was supposed to be on a break from work but he claimed he had just been dancing too hard just before the call and was also trying to avoid being overheard.

I didn't say anything about his breathing or even why he felt the need to excuse himself even though I hadn't mentioned it. Recently he had been hinting that he wanted to be able to put a picture to my voice and name. I didn't want to tell him no for all our friendship and knew I'd have to get it over with if I expected to know him for a long time and to remain close. I was worried that I would look nothing like what was expecting and it would put him off talking to me. Any time he had mentioned his ideal type or women he found attractive in interviews for work they were always South East Asian or white, tall and slim with long hair. I wasn't any of those.

I was mixed raced, short, curvy and had a smallish Afro that was dyed silver. I was pretty much the polar opposite of what I knew he liked. With the exception of twice when he said looks don't matter to him and he wants to be loved above all else, his answers were typical of what a lot of people seem to be looking for - any description that didn't match me.

Jung Kook is an 18 year old singer from South Korea. Although with how ages work in Korea he was technically 19 as they counted the day you were born as your first birthday. He has black hair (when it's not being dyed), black eyes, he's slim and just the right balance of maturity and immaturity.

Me being 27 wasn't an issue for him as he hadn't failed to mention it repeatedly in our conversations and had mentioned it in interviews as well, going as far as specifically mentioning 9 years as being a good age gap if he was dating someone older. I had brown eyes and did fashion design, mostly as an unknown one but my sales were enough to live off of so it was pretty good.

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