Not Twilight (a parody)

Chapter Three: Edward Cullen

The next day I decided to change my clothes. I wanted to be really pretty that day so I put on a Cinderella costume that I found at a thrift store and a crown in my hair.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked when I came downstairs.

"What, you mean my outfit?" I asked, giving him a pose.

"Why don't you put on something else for a little bit? It's nice weather out today." He said.

"Fine." I went back upstairs to change. I put on a tank top and some jeans. I left the crown in my hair because even though one of the plastic jewels was missing, it was by far one of the most beautiful things I've seen since an episode of Baby Einstein.

When I got to school I stepped out of my truck and picked up a book to read until it was time to go inside. It was actually a magazine and I was trying to rip out the poster of Robert Pattinson to hang on my wall.

That's when it happened.

All I saw was Tyler's van coming at me at full speed, wait half speed- actually it was going pretty slow but still.

"Ahhhhhh!!" I screamed. Everyone stared at me, probably waiting until the right moment to jump in front and save my life.

"Ahhhhh!!" I screamed again. I saw Tyler poke his head out of the window with a weird expression on his face. Then the car went silent and stopped moving and Tyler got out. And I realized that Edward Cullen was standing right next to me.

"How did you do that?" I whispered.

"Do what? I came over here to tell you to be quiet." He responded, clearly making a cover story.

"You pushed the van away." I said, fascinated.

"Bella, Tyler is just trying to park his car in the spot next to you." He tried to reason with me but I was not going to allow it.

"I know what I saw!" I shouted at him.

Then the bell rang and we walked off to class. I was actually surprised that he offered to walk me to class. Then I realized he wasn't walking me to class we were both just going the same direction. We both had biology together. He went in first and sat in the front row and another girl came by and sat next to him.

"Ms. Swan, allow me to assign you a seat." The teacher offered.

"It's okay, I got it." I said to him. He looked confused but he would catch on.

"Move." I said to the girl sitting next to Edward.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Move!" I said again.

"This is my assigned seat." She complained. I hated complainers.

"We'll I'm assigning you a new one that is not here." I said, being kind. She should have been happy.

She finally got up and left and I sat down in the chair next to Edward.

"Okay class today we are going to be studying the metamorphic process of a caterpillar to a butterfly. So there are going to be samples of live caterpillars, butterflies and cocoons coming around. You need to follow the steps on the procedure to identify what stage it's in." The teacher said.

The teacher put a bin on our table with a little caterpillar trying to make a cocoon in it.

"Aww it's so cute!!" I said to Edward.

"Let's begin." Edward said, eager to work with me.

"Why didn't you just let the van crush me and save yourself all this regret?!" I asked. My question caught him off guard.

" That van wasn't going to crush you Bella." He said quietly.

"Now, can we please begin?" He asked.

"Do it yourself, Edward Cullen." I commanded. He moved his chair and our specimen away from me and did the project by himself. I say there and scribbled in my notebook.

That day at lunch I sat with Jessica and Angela again. We ate in almost silence this time except we made plans to go to La Push beach.

"Aren't you going to stand on the table with a microphone today?" I asked Jessica when we were all halfway done eating.

"No. When the weather's nice the Cullen's go camping." She said.

"But they were here this morning." I complained.

"Well, it wasn't that sunny this morning." She replied. Then the bell rang which meant that lunch was over.

"I'll meet you at the beach at five." She said and skipped out of the room.

The drive to the beach was long and we were all in the same van that almost crushed me if Edward didn't save my life. On the way there, Eric asked me to prom and I said no because Eric and Angela were meant for each other and I was definitely going with Edward, maybe.

When we got there, the people that were going to surf put on wetsuits. I did not put on a wetsuit because I didn't want to surf, but I ended up falling in the water and getting blue lips. Then I ran into Jacob Black. We used to play together when we were little and his father, Billy, always comes over to our house to watch baseball.

"So, I saw the sign on the way here that said 'No Cullen's Allowed'. Why aren't they allowed?" I asked Jacob.

"I'm not really suppose to say anything about it..." He pondered.

"Aww come on! You can't put a sign up and not tell me what it means!" I complained.

"Okay did you know that the Quillettes supposedly descended from wolves?" He asked.

"No." I answered. "And I don't care. Why aren't the Cullen's allowed to come here?" I pushed.

"Umm well the legend is that my great grandfather found them hunting on our land, but they claimed to be something different so we made a treaty with them. If they promised to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose what they really were to the pale faces." When he stopped talking I realized I had goosebumps.

"What are they really?" I asked, astonished.

"Well, vampires of course!" He exclaimed.

"Oh cool!" This was interesting.

After we had that conversation we had a campfire. I knew Edward was a vampire but I needed more solid evidence that he was before I confronted him.