Random Things That I Like or Annoy Me

#6

Do you ever feel like no one listens to you?

Cuz I feel that way sometimes.

I just felt that way last night.

I'm usually really good at covering up my emotions.

If I'm mad, you can never guess. I'll just keep on faking it.

But I couldn't do that last night.

I don't know what happened.

I just got so upset.

I just went to the patio at 9 pm and stayed there until past 10.

I just wanted to go into the backyard and run away.

And the weird thing is that I don't even know why.

Have you ever been really upset and you're not sure why?

I hope I'm not the only one.

Please don't think I'm weird or crazy, cuz I'm not.

I am a girl who cares about everyone and everything. I often put others before myself. I love making people laugh and smile. I'm often told by people that I'm really nice and always smiling. And I know I'm a good person. I have confidence in myself.

But there's always those days where I'm not as confident.

I'll admit it: I think I'm fat and when I have those days, I immediately think I'm ugly too.

I spend one to two hours every night picking out clothes to wear the next day for school because nothing looks good on me.

I hate taking pictures because I always look fat. So I take a lot of selfies of just my face so I can show myself that I am beautiful.

I should be talking to my parents about how I feel but I don't because they won't listen. I get emotional and start crying and then they'll get annoyed that I can't just come straight out and say what's on my mind so they won't listen. I haven't tried it but I know that's how it's going to go so I don't even bother trying.

I'm not always so negative but this weekend, I just can't keep it to myself. I have to talk to someone. But I don't want to talk to anyone directly so i just decided to post this chapter. I can get my negative thoughts out without really talking to anyone in general.

I'll probably go back to normal by tomorrow but for right now I'm just a mess.

Please don't think I'm depressed or anything like that cuz I'm not.

We all have negative thoughts sometimes, right?

Thank you for reading through this. Hopefully my next chapter will be much happier.