Justice

Ch. 7

I swear, I was having heart palpitations.

The girl I'd fallen in love with stood before me, and after so long without her, I realized again why I'd fallen in love with her.

Her golden waves of hair cascaded down her shoulders and back. It had gotten much longer from when we first met. I asked her to keep growing it out, because I loved it so much.

Those same crystal blue oceans I'd become trapped in so many times looked at me in confusion. I could see the pain in her face at the sight of me. It made me feel terrible.

I stood frozen to my spot. I couldn't form words correctly, so I stood there, mouth open.

She spoke first. "Justice? What are you doing here?"

I swallowed. "Isabelle, I... I, um..."

I didn't know what I wanted to say. She looked at me, hopeful. I looked back at her, unsure of what to say. She looked disappointed.

She sighed. "Look, Justice, if you're just going to stand there, I have better things to d-"

"I love you too."

Her eyes grew wide. "What?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Isabelle. I'm sorry that I'm such a bad person and I can't be a good boyfriend to you because there's always something wrong with me. I'm sorry that Ethan is dead and that I ever got in a fight with him in the first place.

"I regret making you cry so many times, and not telling you how I feel, but you know what I don't regret? I don't regret sitting on that bench that day in the park. I don't regret asking you out, or asking you to be my girlfriend, or losing my virginity to you on New Year's.

"I don't regret those things, because they're a constant reminder of you. Isabelle Brianne Darby, the girl that I've fallen madly and hopelessly in love with. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how. But now I do. I love you, Isabelle. And I couldn't live with myself knowing that I hurt you.

"I lost sleep over you. It's only been a week, but even a day without you tears me apart. Please, Isabelle, forgive me."

She stared at me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in surprise.

"Say something," I pleaded.

She stared at me for another moment. Then she grabbed me by the face and kissed me, like the way she had when the ball dropped on TV. Like the way she had when I gave her the engraved necklace.

I felt all of the world around me disappear. All of my problems melted away. The tenseness in my body relaxed instantly.

When she pulled away, both of us breathless, she looked into my eyes intensely and said, "I love you so much."

I smiled. "I love you so much more."

She grinned, showing her perfect teeth. I hugged her and whispered, "Be good for me."

She looked at me, brows furrowed. "Why did you say that?"

I just smiled again. "Just do me a favor Isabelle: go to Lombardi, get your degree in Psychology, become a forensic detective like you've always wanted, and most of all," I sighed. "Have fun. Live your life, Isabelle. And never forget me. I love you more than you know."

"Justice-"

"Okay?"

She gave a small smile and whispered, "Okay."

I kissed her one more time before parting ways, set on going back home.

I walked into my kitchen, looking at what was once my mother, and I picked her up and put her in her bed. I pulled the covers up to her shoulders, laying her arms across each other on top of the covers.

I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, mom. I love you."

I walked back into the kitchen, looking through drawers. No box cutters. So I got a knife instead. The biggest, sharpest one I could find. I ran my fingers along the shiny silver blade.

Perfect.

It was time to serve the world one final justice.

I went into my room and closed the door. First, I slid the knife along my palm, making a deep gash.

When I finished, I was prepared for what was to come next.

I looked over at a picture of Isabelle on my nightstand. I picked it up and kissed it. "See you later, Belle."

I used both hands to jab the knife into my stomach. If I was going to die, I was going to die the same way my father did. At my doing, and with a single stab to the gut.

Blood trickled down my shirt and onto my pants. It was warm, and thick. It was a lot less repulsive when it was your own.

I laid back onto my bed, trying to make my last moments as peaceful as possible.

I can only assume that I die next.

I'm glad to finally have figured out what I was really meant to do. Throughout my life, I'd been oblivious to the real problem. All along, it was my own self.

And if killing myself was the solution, the thing that ensured that Isabelle got to live happily, then by all means.

My name is Justice Miller.

And I am a murderer.