for him. | Chandler Riggs Gay |

fifteen.

Finally. I finally got to do it.

You know that feeling when you finally get to do something you've always wanted? Your stomach fills with butterflies and you keep telling yourself it's not real.

It is, though. It's extremely real. It finally begins to happen and you just indulge in it. It's so new at first, an then it feels like you've done it before.

In this case, losing my virginity. Something I've been trying to get rid off for god knows how long.

I felt like I was in paradise as he did what he was so skilled it. It was weird when I thought about, you know, him being my first but me being his... I don't even know.

He looked so cute, I mean, he's always cute but he was being so gentle and sweet and I just wanted everything to last forever.

Life was finally being good to me for once. I had been trying and trying to get this to happen and finally it did.

Honestly, explaining how it went is hard, but that's okay because it's personal. You don't wanna hear it, but oh my goodness, it was wonderful.

Okay, I'll stop talking about it.

I was sat on Mitchie's bed, staring at the wall as she doodled in her draw book, Brendan in the back doing something to keep himself entertained.

Jojo joined us, him sitting on her desk, kicking his feet back and forth. We made up a little bit, only because I told him about himself the best I could without stuttering... okay if you actually thought I could speak without stuttering, I'm laughing.

The wall was white, but not an obnoxious kind. It was almost like a seashell. I liked it. I usually find the color boring but, I dunno, I've been feeling kinda into it lately.

'Hey, Chandler?'

'Hmm? I-I'm-- i'm l-listening'

'Chandler!'

'Y-yeah?' I shake my head, squinting my eyes shut for a quick second

'You've been staring at that damn wall for an hour' She says 'Doing absolutely nothing'

'I-I was not'

'You were' Brendan sighs

'Oh...'

'Something on your mind?'

Everyone's words were faint as my eyes scanned the paint lines on the wall. I'm pretty sure my head tilted to the side to get a bit of a better look, but I don't really know

'Chandler Riggs' Jojo grits his teeth

'W-What? O-Oh, wait what?'

'Is something wrong?'

'N-no, I'm- I'm okay'

'You're in la la land' Bren purses his lips

'They, um, t-they changed my dose o-of medication, t-t-that's probably the problem, I-I don't know'

'That would explain why you're so shaky'

'D-do you, do y-you think that, um, do you think, uh, d-do you-'

'Slow down, bud' The black haired man coos 'Calm down and don't talk so fast, okay?'

'D-do you think they're filming?'

'Filming what?' Jojo asks

'The Walking Dead!' I yell