Haunted by the past

Chapter Six

Evan was in heaven, this was exactly what he wanted, Maddie pliant and receptive in his arms, plastered against his sensitively aware body. He was overwhelmed by the aroma of her gentle perfume, the softness of her lips, the tantalising fingers that whispered over his cheek. When she moaned and parted her lips, his body shuddered, and he knew he was battling to keep control. He moved away from her lips, teasing a path over her cheek, jaw and onto nuzzle her neck. He smiled to himself as the tiny hairs on her neck stood on end. It was a small victory; she wanted this as much as he did. Keeping up the pressure he slid a hand up to the back of her neck, tilting her head back over it, exposing more and more of her slender neck, collar bone, and the slope that led down to her breast. She was magnificent, and he’d never felt so excited, in an anticipatory way.

"God you are beautiful!" he couldn’t resist breathing words in to her neck, despite knowing that he could blow this precarious position so easily. He couldn’t fight her ‘no’ any longer, he had to hope that he could make her realise how he felt, how special this was between them.

Maddie felt more than heard the words against her skin. Somewhere a flashing light, a loud siren started to alarm inside her brain. This was everything she didn’t want, scratch that, it was everything that she DID want, but it was also the one thing she was avoiding, that she had to stop. Evan was a threat to her equilibrium, the balance of her emotions and her control. Here he was wearing her down, exposing parts of her that she had tried to hide for so long, both physically and emotionally. And he was like a drug, addictive, consuming. His tongue teased her skin, his hands splayed over her skin, pulling her closer. And she wanted to be closer, wanted to meld into him. This was dangerous.

Evan felt the change in her before she actually started to push him away, and tried to return to the familiarity of another kiss, but she’d turned her face away, her hands were trying to prise herself away from him and he was never going to force this.

"Maddie?"
She shook her head, refusing to look at him; he knew that if she knew where the door was she’d be running through it, fortunately she didn’t.

"Maddie, what is it? You were kissing me too. You wanted that, didn’t you? This isn’t all me! I’m not some sort of harasser, please."

She shrugged, her back still to him refusing to look at him let alone talk.

                "Can’t you talk to me? Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me why you’ve gone from kissing me so deeply to turning your back on me in literally ten seconds."

She turned to him slowly and he could see the tears in her eyes, "I just can’t do it Evan. I’m sorry if that isn’t enough."

"Why?" he came up to her and took her hands. “There’s no one else, I know that, you like me, you’ve already told me that. Aren’t I worth a gamble? A date or two, just to see how things go?”

"I don’t know why Evan, not really, I’m just not ready for this," she tentatively tried to pull her hands from his but he refused, holding onto them tightly.

“Will you ever be?” When she didn’t answer he sighed, "I can slow down Maddie, I can take this as slowly as you want to go, I can step back but I can’t walk away. I really like you; I want to spend more time with you. You’re pulling away, yet you were so different when I met you..."

"You mean you liked me because I’m easy?" She snarled at him angry that he could see through her.

He shook his head, "no, I told you nothing happened. Kissing, talking...it was all normal, and SO amazing. When I met you it was mutual attraction, and we both unashamedly went for it. And it was awesome. Now, now you’re acting as though I’m asking you to commit murder."