Haunted by the past

Chapter Twenty

Malcolm Michaels smiled at Maddie; she was the brightest he’d ever seen her, confidence radiated out of her. They’d spent two days discussing the visit with her parents. He was so proud of her, she’d handled things better than he imagined. He was amazed that she’d rejected them so comprehensively, he’d thought that she’d want a screaming fit, anger, and then acceptance, a truce of sorts. As it was she’d shown him that she was more than ready to be on her own.

                “Are you happy?”

Maddie beamed at him, “the more I think about it, the happier I am. I mean I always thought my parents were so detrimental to my survival. But to see them in that room, full of self pity. It annoyed me SO much. I thought I’d shout and cream, cry, make myself look ridiculous, but...”

He nodded, not saying anything.

Her smile saddened a little, “you know it was Rose that made me see things clearly.”

                “Rose?” That surprised him.

Nodding she crossed her legs, “I always thought that I did something wrong, that they hated me because of things I’d done. Rose blamed herself for what she did to her children, and it devastated her that they didn’t forgive her all these years on, but she also knew that it was her fault. She didn’t blame them for hating her, because as a parent she put other things above them.”

                “So?”

She laughed, “I thought this was all about me hating myself because I can’t have children, that I didn’t deserve my friends, or Evan because I’d never told them the truth. But it wasn’t!”

                “You don’t hate yourself.”

Shaking her head she smiled, “I did. I mean I could be a better person, but to be honest, no, I don’t hate myself now, and I don’t blame myself. My parents have never shown me the love I deserved, and they couldn’t even tell me why. But whatever happened, THEY were the ones who mistreated me. All this lands at their door, and I don’t care anymore, I’m not scared, and I don’t need them!”

                “And Evan?”

Maddie sighed, “I felt that I couldn’t give him what he wanted, children, but I guess if he loves me, then he has to accept that, doesn’t he? That’s the thing I’ve realised. Cindy and Steve, and more recently Evan, they’ve CHOSEN me, they love me for ME. And they don’t have to!”

It was such a powerful moment, Maddie stood and hugged Doctor Michaels, “I could never have done this without you, you are truly a remarkable man, all those afternoons when I wouldn’t look at you, wouldn’t talk to you. But you got through to me, made me see sense.”

He hugged her back for a moment, “you’re my inspiration, you’ve come through all this...and you’re still well rounded, understanding, rational.”

                "So is it really time to fly the nest?" she asked when they stepped apart.

He nodded, "you have a full life out there, waiting for you. You’re a young woman full of promise. Go and be successful!"

Maddie had very little with her, and was completely unsure of what she was heading home to. Sitting on her bed she picked up her mobile phone, she hadn’t used it since her accident, but this time she used it, and called Cindy.

                “Mads? Is that you?”

Maddie had never heard Cindy sound so painful, when she said, “yes.”  Cindy broke down in tears, not little quiet sobs, but heart wrenching shoulder quaking sobs.