Haunted by the past

Chapter Seventeen

Maddie had no idea that the solution to this horrendous problem would come from within the hospital. She’d had a day of trying to stand and walk tentative steps with the physios, which was no easy manoeuvre with a plated pelvis and thigh, and the complication of her shoulder recovering from dislocation made it all rather awkward. But she was nothing if not stubborn and whilst mentally she was struggling to deal with the last two weeks, physically she was determined to get better, and physical pain from the effort and exertion was far more manageable than the emotional pain and scarring that occupied her otherwise.

After the session she was sat in her chair, breathing through the pain and wondering what wondrous offerings the hospital would supply for the meal formerly known as lunch, when a man who introduced himself as Dr Michaels approached. He was a middle aged man with tufty grey hair and very bushy eyebrows, and he told her he was a psychiatrist. Instantly Maddie’s teeth were on edge.
                "I’m not mad y’know?" She was very quick to announce.

The older man smiled, “I know that, but I hear you’re having a few issues with recovering, and Mr Callaghan thought talking to me might help.”

She turned her head away, his simple status making her feel more emotional than she had until now. Why wasn’t she coping? What was different this time? She wasn’t sure; all she knew was that she felt as though she were in the deepest darkest depths of despair, and with each passing day she was losing her grip on reality more and more.

                “At the end of the day,” he continued, seeing her difficulties with the topic, “emotional recovery is more important than physical. You have to realise that you aren’t the only one that has ever felt like this. We all manage so many problems, but sometimes our defences are shattered by things that happen.  I run a rehab unit, we specialise in cases like yours, whereby physical and emotional needs are essential, and I have a team of more therapists than you can throw a stick at! Physical, occupational, psychological...the list is endless. I really think you’ll feel at home there. And that we can help you of course."

He presented a well rounded case; if other’s felt this way then maybe it wasn’t entirely her fault? She thought for a moment, "why should I come?"

Smiling he reached in to the briefcase he carried and handed her a brochure, "no one can make you do anything Madeleine, there’s no force involved in this,  but the fact that you have given up interest in returning to your life seems so hard to take. I hear that you are very motivated, that you love your job, love your life. Yet you sit here, unkempt, unmotivated, disinterested."

                “I’ve worked hard with the physiotherapists,” she protested.

He nodded, “I hear that, but you’re not taking your medicine, you don’t want to dress, and you’re refusing visitors.”

That was only the last few days. Seeing her friends, and in particular Evan, hurt. She wanted to put distance between her and them, for a while.

Maddie looked up at him and sighed, "I don’t know how I can get past all the things that have happened." She wiped away a stray tear, "I want to go home, to my job, my home....ha! I don’t have a home now!" The bitterness rose in her mind as she remembered her friends were moving on. So why should I be thinking of going back?”

                "And Evan?” He prompted, “tell me about him."

She shook her head vehemently, "I can’t Dr Michaels, I can’t do that."

He smiled at her, "and there lies your problem. Come to Sandstone, my unit. We’ll get through this."
                "I don’t want any visitors." She bargained, that was a hard and fast point.