Like The Monster I Am ...

Chapter 3 : The Walk (Zari)

My heart is pumping out of my chest and I can't even feel the cold from the air coming through my thin jacket. I race to the nearby park hoping to see my brother , nothing. I go back inside my house and grab my moms van keys off the table and head to the car.

I turn in the car and reverse a speed that would not be considered to be safe near a park where there are small children playing ... but what are you gonna do.

I drive down and up every street in my small neighborhood and then exit. I start to not feel worry but anger. How could Beck just leave and not answer his phone knowing that I would worry sick about him. I park the car and decide to go to his best friends neighborhood right next to mine. I take a deep breath trying to control my rising temper but it didn't quite help.

I stormed through the gate to enter the neighborhood and my mind is in so many places at once. Where could he be ? Is he safe ? Does he know I'm looking for him ? Did he tell mom and dad ? Why did he leave ? My thoughts stop when I run into someone. A familiar someone.

'Oh , Lewis , didn't see your there.' I brush my hair back and try to catch my breath.

'Hey Zari , we've got to stop meeting like this.' We both laugh and think about how both times we have spoken have been caused by running into each other.

'So ...' he puts his hands into his jacket pocket. 'Why are you out here walking ?' He looks into my eyes and I almost get lost in his.

'I umm , my brother , Beck , he left the house with out telling me and I'm really worried about him. My mum and dad would kill me if they knew I lost him under my supervision.'

Lewis gives me his signature smirk. 'Here , I'll help you on your search , I'm not in a rush.' I almost tell him not to but this is an opportunity I probably shouldn't pass up , I mean , his face ... bloody hell it's gorgeous.

'Sure , thanks.' We walk together towards the neighborhoods park and it's silent , but a comfortable silent. I can tell there is something on his mind , I can read people better than I can read myself most times.

'Why are you out walking ?' I look at him waiting for his response.

'Home stuff , you know when you're in one place for so long and you feel like its suffocating you ... yeah sounds extreme but I just needed to get out.'

I smile, 'No I totally relate. It's like the walls are closing in on you just need a way out , I get that feeling a lot more than I would like.  Sometimes it takes me to places that I would have never thought I would be.'

He chuckles, 'Like looking for your lost brother ?' I nod and laugh with him.

'So , what's your brother Beck like since we're looking for him.'

'He's 13 years old , short Afro , about 5'3 , brown skin , goes for girls way out of his league , gets shot down , and still calls himself a 'ladies man' , basically , if you looked up egotistical in the dictionary , a huge picture of him would be right there.'

Lewis laughs , but I've never seen or heard this one before. His eyes crinkle up and he holds his stomach and he smiles from ear to ear. Pure joy all over his face.

I chuckle at the sight of him , and wish I could make him laugh like that all the time and that people would see this side of him not just know him as the 'weird outcast American boy'.

'He sounds like a character. What about you , what would people describe you as ?'

I actually start to think because I've never thought about it , what do people think of me ?

'Probably as the timid quiet girl who never raises her hand in class because she's socially awkward ?' I laugh at my own expense because this is probably how people do describe me.

'No , when I first had you in a class you were the modest pretty girl that you knew was smart but didn't show it. Probably has her nose stuck in a book when she gets home rather than a cellphone and you can have a deep conversations with , one that last hours and is meaningful , not the lasted drama people see on the cover of tabloids.'

I stand there in shock. I never thought anyone let alone Lewis actually thought about what kind of person I am. The way he described me seemed like he wanted to know , was I actually the girl he has thought about me being ?

'Yeah ... it a lot but , I've always seen you as such a down to earth girl.' I smile at him.

'Well you Lewis , I thought you were going to be another bad boy roaming the halls of our school but once I actually saw you in class my thoughts had changed. The way you present yourself is that you don't care and you're a very chill guy , which I believe you are , but you care about your studies. I see when Mr.V asks review question in class , you mouth the questions but you don't want to tarnish your reputation by raising your hand. Every day I wonder if today will be the day that you do it and show how smart you actually are , how the hours and hours of studying you did payed off and how you even learned more about he subject to have a better understanding of it because you're a deep person. You always want to know more. And that's what's so interesting about you.'

He looks at me like I just blew his bloody mind and I realize that I just spilled a shit load of truth on him probably.

'Wow Zari , you ... I think I got it right when I said you have deep conversation because damn.' My cheeks heat up and I look up at Lewis' blue eyes and see the stress and worry behind them had disappeared. And then I looked over to my left to see my brother.

Then my brothers face disappeared as he got hit in the face by another boy as more and more started to get her around him.

And all I see is red.