Catching Phoenix: Renegades MC Story

19

As my eyes opened, squinting against the sun shining through the crack of my drapes, I realized two things. First was that my body was no longer in excruciating pain and the second that the house was quiet. Too quiet.

If I have learned anything in the last week since the Renegades descended on my home was that thirteen bikers were anything but quiet...and clean. Christ the mess one man can make, let alone a whole baker's dozen of them was astonishing. Would it really kill you to put the toilet seat down and not leave water marks on all of my side tables? Heathens I tell you...filthy, noisy heathens.

But as l laid their listening, trying to determine if the guys were still passed out or what a part of me really didn't give a fuck as long as the silence continued. Hell I forgot what it was like living with people and after this week I was never more thankful for that element. Being alone was comforting, the solitude was peaceful and the most important was that items were always where you placed them last. How hard was it to not loss the remote control?

Regardless of how much my house guests were driving me crazy a part of me did miss having guys like these around. They reminded me of my team and our own closeness, it is rare to see that type of loyalty and comradery outside the military. I got a small pang in my chest each time I watched the men joke around, their connection obvious. God I missed having that link and the pain of their loss still haunted me. Rubbing my hand over my chest I tried to push those types of thoughts away, they never did me any good.

Signing I got up testing my body to confirm happily that I was almost back to 100%. Maybe now Mac could chill out a little bit and stop hovering over me all the time. Smiling to myself I tried to deny that I hated it, but in a weird sort of way I liked how he fussed. So far that was all he did...and it was driving me fucking insane. The biker was far too sexy for his own good. Now that my body was back to health it was screaming at me to take the biker by the leather cut and toss him on my bed. But as I showered my mind shifted back that the horrible morning.

In a way he was right and I couldn't hate him for pointing it out. I was a robot, but I didn't know how else to be. I was who I was and I couldn't apologize for that. He wanted more and...I just didn't have it in me to give more, no matter how much I wished for it to be different. That part of me was destroyed a long time ago, it no longer existed in me. So I hid that emptiness with meaningless sex and for those brief moment I allowed myself to –feel. To remember what it was like to once have love and to return it.

But people like me don't ever get the happily ever after ending, not after everything I have done and seen. I was enough to have friends now, guys who I could relate to and who could somewhat relate to me. This was enough...it had to be enough.

As I made my way downstairs, I followed the sound of voices which all ceased the second I stepped into the kitchen. "Jules have a seat, Hawk made some homemade oatmeal, won't tell us where the hell he learned how but it is great." Mac held out a seat for me as a bowl was set down in front of me. Hawk went back to cleaning up as Mac and Tank took seats next to me. after a few bites I couldn't handle the silence anymore and cracked.

"What the hell is up with everyone? Where are the rest of the guys?" I asked between chews. I watched as Tank nervously looked away before glaring at Mac. Okay something was going on and I wasn't sure if I was going to like it or not.

"Um...Hacker is in with Albert. Nothing on that front. Trigger is with him. Agent Timmons and the rest of the guys left about an hour ago. Said he couldn't waste resources with all of us sitting around." Mac gave me the rundown while I finished eating. I wasn't sure what the big deal was, Timmons was right. Until we figured out more Intel on Raptor it was a waste for all of us to just sit around and wait. Other things could be taken care of in the meantime. Did they expect me to be upset about this? I was a professional after all. If anyone knew the importance of getting stuff handled it was me, so there had to be something else.