The Aesthetic Question

Circling

[The Feeling - Justin Bieber ft. Halsey]

Maria and Ryan were sitting in a corner booth, chatting happily like the world wasn't on its way to ruin. Maria was a good girl, not someone who would steal other people's romantic interests. In fact, she was kind and pleasant, something the bitch in Aurora would never understand. She was the type of normal with manners that no one ever look at twice. So Aurora was surprised when she first learned that Ryan was pursuing her.

Aurora and Maria had known each other since they joined the Royal Dance Studio five years ago. Though not close, Aurora still knew what kind of person Maria was. She just never thought the guy she liked would like her friend-of-sorts. But when she thought about it, they would actually make a nice couple. Both of them like to hole up at their homes, living a life devoid of colours and impulses, Aurora thought bitterly, strategically ignoring the fact that the other two were way happier than she was.

Honestly she didn't' know what she liked about him. There's nothing remotely special, except maybe the novelty that stuck with his being. Other than that, she couldn't comprehend why she bothered to stick by and wait for him to notice. This dragged on for a good few years and every day passed with less of him, but not before it was too late.

Sometimes she blamed herself for not daring to simply ask if he had any feelings for her. Although he seemed to flirt outright enough, this ambiguous relationship had dragged on for far too long without any moves. It's bound to have grown out of one of them. Sadly, it was not Aurora.

She caught Ryan and Maria walking hand-in-hand in the busier side of the city about a month ago. They looked so right for each other Aurora couldn't handle the madness. I think I'm missing something again. Oh that's right, he's not my boyfriend. He can flirt with whoever the fuck he likes while leading other people on. Fire was a good element to utilize in these situations but anger was a good friend as well and couldn't help staying.

'You alright?' Jordan's voice snapped her out of a new wave of bitterness.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' Her fingers involuntarily clutched at the sleeves of her denim jacket. She was both glad and upset that Jordan was with her. Glad because it appeared that she had moved on and found other male friends. Upset because let's admit it, everyone wanted to be the martyr and point fingers at the other person. Not that it could ever apply to her because strictly speaking, Ryan never really did anything wrong.

When she passed Ryan and Maria's booth, she purposefully walked straight ahead without acknowledging them. She knew he was watching too. It wasn't civil, but Aurora didn't feel like following social protocols. She scrolled through her phone while Jordan ordered drinks and kept her lips pursed the whole time.

'Seriously,' Jordan started once he slid into their booth, passing Aurora her mocha. 'Is something bothering you?'

'No, I'm just sort of bored. I hardly know what I want in life.'

'Jordan chuckled. 'Not many people do.'

'Well, do you?'

'I would say dancing, but other than that...maybe start a steady relationship? I don't know. I've never settled for anyone before and I'm starting to think I should. I'm going to be twenty-six next month after all.'

'Do you think settling down is worth it?' She murmured, tracing the lipstick imprint on her cup absent-mindedly.

'I'll admit I've never seen its appeal before. No-strings-attached is so much easier for all parties to get what they want. But when you're older, you start thinking that maybe you need something stable you know? It's like a social stage where you have to start settling because it's expected of you.'