The Aesthetic Question

Hiding

[Hold Me Down - Halsey]

Music was bullshit-proof, Aurora thought as she pushed her earphones deep inside her ears. With that much noise, she couldn't even hear her own breathing, much less the charged atmosphere around her. Her restless apple green eyes roamed the street outside and for the first time since she moved here, she was disappointed by the lack of human activity on the street. At least watching people walk around would take her mind off things.

Her existential anxiety was back in town and unlike Santa, it wasn't old and good-natured. In fact, it was full of teenage angst and liked to twist Aurora's intestines like ribbons with no elasticity.

Stress, doubt, depressing thoughts. She saw them all before they happened but she thought she could duck under the radar and pass off as a moody bitch. She never thought it had the ability to affect her that much.

She had skipped practice two days in a row and if she kept on pretending to be sick, she might face heavy consequences with the stage directors. As much as she didn't want any contact with human beings, she didn't want to entertain the idea of getting behind on practice because it took twice as long to catch up. So she had no choice but to dress up. It felt weird feeling fresh after several days spent living in a nightgown.

She opened the door of her room to an Alex with slightly wet hair. 'Hi.' He blinked. 'Finally found the way out of your lair?'

She rolled her eyes at him and padded downstairs where the yogurts were kept. 'By the way,' Alex put a hand on the front door. 'You can eat the churros my friends left me. I'm not about to anytime soon.'

Aurora narrowed her eyes at him. Although she loved free churros, she was more concerned about her strange housemate. He looked considerably thinner since she first moved here. His skin looked rough to the touch and the green orbs that she could never figure out were dull and rimmed with purple. If she wasn't aware that he was going through a hard time, she would think that the ugly side to his personality had finally caught up to his sculpted face.

'Alex.' She faced him squarely. 'You cannot pass water as food, you know.'

His usually arrogant expression froze. His eyebrows went up, accentuating the wrinkles on his forehead. He blinked once again, his signature response to anything he couldn't answer. Eventually, he shook his head. 'It's none of your business.'

Aurora didn't know if acknowledging this was in any way helpful. Sometimes people did things hoping others would acknowledge them. But sometimes when these actions were recognized, they would advance to another level of irrationality. It wasn't so much seeking attention as it was a signal that someone needed help. Now that Aurora saw the red light, she didn't know how to stop it from blinking. It seemed as if her feet were glued to the ground and she could only see things coming without any way of crashing into them.

She saw Alex later during the rehearsal. He was commenting loudly on something his friends said. She couldn't help thinking that a mask was in place of his face, but she dared not speak her mind. She needed some time to observe how this unfolded but she already had enough on her plate. So she could only sneak glances every once in a while and hoped to make eye contact. What she would do if their eyes really meet, she had no idea.

* * *

Berkley had always wanted to pay this restaurant a visit. It was practically a sin that she had lived two years in the vicinity of a highly-rated restaurant without once going in. The location was rather secluded, but she found it in time for her reservation.