1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Give all his food to Hagrid
36. When all is silent, make demented noises, eg; 'goohooooo' or 'gnaaaaaaaaaw'
37. Rip off his robes when he's making a speach
38. When he asks you to remind him of something, repeat it every 5 seconds until he can take it any more
39. Read him the paragraph about what Voldemort looks like in Harry potter, then hand him a mirror
40. Lock him in the chamber of secrets until he grows old and dies
41. When he wakes up, drop bear attack him from the ceiling
42. Duct tape yourself to the outside of his door and sleep there. When he opens the door wake up and scream
43. Give him a wedgie
44. Dack him in the hall
45. Use him as a meat shield
46. Lick lollies and stick them on his head
47. Stick a bucket over his head and hit it with a baseball bat
48. Invite him to 'play' the hunger games with you and the death eaters
49. Tell him about this new thing, it's called a LIFE
50. If he's doing anything quiet (like reading, studying or thinking) get really close to his face. Keep getting closer until your face is touching his
_______________________________________________________
Hey guys!
Just wondering, I'm thinking of adding
more characters to this book. Meh, just
an idea. If you think I should, post it in
the comments.
-Byz Peepz!
