Letters of my Life. (A Skip Beat! Fanfic)

Chapter 5

She noticed the difference in this letter immediately. It was not in the same stationery, it was a formal brown envelope which looked to be something that had already been used. The address on it originally had been scribbled out so violently that she was sure the pen must have gone through the envelope. She turned it over in her hands. There was no name on this one but there was still the little number 15 in the corner, the already used tab stuck down by sticky tape which she peeled back slowly to reveal the beaten, battered letter. Within the letter must have been in the envelope when Kuon had scribbled out the address so hard it had pierced the envelope leaving heavy biro marks on the letter itself.

The letter too was different. It wasn't well looked after like the others had been. Even if the letters before had been, it gave off a completely different feel like it had been crumpled up multiple times before being flattened out and used then crumpled up some more, she could see the tears and tear stains before she even opened the note and realised what Kuu had told her.

"I haven't seen my son since he was 15 years old."

Was this that letter? Was this going to tell her of her friend's demise? What should she expect from this mess of a letter? She had no choice if she wanted answers she would have to face her fears and open the letter

There are still six more letters. If the letters don't stop, maybe he didn't either.

She prayed with all her heart to believe what she was telling herself, but how can one believe against what they already believe to be fact? Taking a deep breath she carefully unfolded the letter, scared of ripping it more than it already was,

Kyoko I don't even have a right any more to write you. How could a murderer such as myself be worthy of someone so good, pure and innocent as you? But I couldn't sleep and all I could think was what I would be doing if I had gone tonight.

I did a terrible thing Kyoko. I haven't left my home in months. I don't deserve to be in this world any more. I don't deserve a life...

the writing became unreadable here and Kyoko's heart was dying inside as she cried silently looking at the letter before her.

It was all my fault Kyoko. Mark challenged me, telling me we would settle it once and for all, just me and him one on one. There was, of course more of his cronies there and they beat me like they never had before. Something snapped in me Kyoko, I don't know what it was but I couldn't see or feel anything but anger. The next thing I knew...

Tear stains obscured the writing again with lots of crossed out words below. Kyoko's heart was pounding, she couldn't hear, she could hardly breathe. Only the sound of her own heart was resounding inside her head

He was lying there dying while Tina was screaming, telling me I'm a murderer. Telling me it was my fault...

Again the letter became illegible. The ink had run so badly it merged and swirled. There were no longer visible tear stains, it seemed as if the entire part of the letter had been submerged in water. She knew it hadn't but she guessed at this time her beloved Corn had cried so much it had soaked the letter.

No one blamed me but Tina which hurts all the more. Why can they fail to see it's my fault Rick is dead. No I wasn't driving the car that hit him but they had been aiming for me. Mark had been aiming to kill me but Rick... (tear stains) Rick chose to save me instead of his own life. He pushed me out of the way Kyoko, it should have been me that night, not him that died. It should have been me.

She gave up trying to read any more. The few words she could read were few and far between

Oh Corn, how can you blame yourself? Rick chose his own path, not you.

She cried for a long time for her friend's loss, but she just had to know. She had to know what happened to that scared boy who wrote this letter, she reached for the next.