Diary of a Wannabe Cat

Entry Three (6th through 8th grade)

Dear Angel,

Sixth grade was kind of a tough time for me. I hated the school that I went to. I literally had one friend (that I actually hung out with). Everything seemed so complicated. People were mean to me when I only wanted them to like me. Anyways back to the good. My best friend was named Hope. We met on the first day of school before our first class. Her locker was a few lockers down from mine. I got done getting my things and I completely forgot where I was supposed to go, so I walked over close to where her locker was. I guess her mom saw the confused look on my face so she offered to help. It turned out that Hope had a pretty similar schedule to mine. So we walked down the hall to homeroom together. From that point on, we were inseparable. We liked the same music (techno and metal), we had the same style (t-shirts and skinny jeans), neither of us were very popular; we were one in the same. We hung out pretty much every weekend and we were always together at school. She was the reason I wanted to go to school that year. Unfortunately, the bad outweighed the good, so at the end of the year I decided that I wasn't going back to that school.

In seventh grade, I started a new school called Georgia Cyber Academy. It's an online public school. Like I said, I've gone to this school since seventh grade. I really like it; it allows for more flexibility in my schedule and I get to choose my rate of learning. Since I wasn't at my old middle school anymore, Hope and I started talking less and less; we were still friends nevertheless and still hung out sometimes, but not as often as we used to. We also started to become less and less alike. She started to like country music and she started dressing differently, like everyone else. She started to only care about following the latest trends and getting guys to like her. I'm not saying this in a bad way; I'm only pointing out our differences. I want to make this very clear. I started to feel less and less accepted by everyone in 7th grade. The only major thing that happened to me was in 8th grade. March 2012. That was when my grandpa (my mom's dad) died. He was cremated, by the way (you need to know that for the next chapter). We knew it was coming because he had been sick for a few months before he died. This was my first grandparent that I lost. I took it very hard and I've felt "off" ever since. By "off" I mean... have you ever felt like you haven't been your self, as in not as happy as you used to be, like there's a hole in your heart and you're not sure how to feel about it? Well that's how I've felt since then. I can't remember many of the details because I have this habit of suppressing all my bad memories and the negative thoughts that came with them. So yeah I guess that's that.

Talk to you soon,

Crystal