Diary of a Wannabe Cat

Entry Seven

Hey guys! Sorry I don't update very much. I'm been busy (more like lazy) and nothing really happens in my boring life.

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I feel like I'm getting a little better with each passing day. I got the whole thing sorted out (see last entry) so I haven't been having anxiety about that. I still feel like something's missing though. I'm sure I'll just have to live with that feeling though. I've just been trying to occupy myself by reading fanfic and listening to music. It's weird because I feel like I actually know the guys in my favorite bands, even though I've never even met them . I don't know... I just feel so close to them and I feel like they'll be there for me even if everyone else isn't. School is a bunch of bullshit and I've somehow managed to get behind. My mom is always on my ass about that and it pisses me off, but whatever. I just don't really care anymore. It's weird because I had my whole life planned out and my future looked bright, but now it looks like a huge blur. I don't know what'll happen. On the bright side, I'm friends with my cousin again. She's actually really cool now and I enjoy her company. We like a lot of the same things which is really cool. I finally feel like I have someone who I can relate to, and can relate to me too. It's a good feeling. I don't know of anything else to talk about...

Ummmm.... the holidays are coming up. Are you guys excited for that? I kind of am. But then again, I'm not. I don't know, it seems like they were just here and now they're back. It's weird how time goes by so fast. I think I am ready for New Year's though. Just the thought of a new year; it's a fresh start.  I just really hope next year won't be as bad as this past year.

I've been thinking a lot. For some reason, thinking is comforting to me... until I start to overthink. But just thinking... it's nice. I think about a lot of things, mostly bands (hehe) but also about getting older, my future, my past, my present, religion... mostly just life in general. Is it bad to feel like your life has no meaning? I just wish I could have an answer to all of my questions. But that would kind of take the fun out of things. I'm not really sure what I want at this point.