It's Okay To Feel A Little Blue Sometimes

Chapter 2- Dryer Waffle Dread

I used the dryer to heat up a toaster waffle this morning. I'm about the lowest low. I didn't feel mentally prepared to show my face to my family in the kitchen. We were having company over again. My aunt and uncle didn't make it in time for the party, because they live in Oregon. So, now they are coming over today. Why does life do this to me. And yeah I know that some people have it worse, but that doesn't change the hopeless feeling inside of me.

When my aunt and uncle and their three hellion children come over I give a sigh and quickly jump into some festive attire. Everything they say is so stupid and they gave their children the worst names, They are so bad I won't even say them. Well... They are hilarious. Ok, I'll tell you.

They named them Margery, Wilma, and Dolores. Terrible I know. I would kill myself if I had one of those hideous names.

"Hey! How you doing Joy?" My uncle cheerfully says to me. I give a grunt and he forcefully wraps his arms around me in a hug. The stench of B.O. infiltrates my nostrils and I cringe in disgust. "What's the matter. Being a lil' humbug again, ay?" He says and ruffles my hair.

"Hi ya, Joy! Whats shakin, baby? How ya feeling?" My cousin thats my age says to me. "I'm ok, Margery. And you?" I retort. "I've been swell. Even better know that the holidays are around." Margery says while looking at our Christmas tree.

"Why don't we go to your room and dish out some old stories." She says brightly. "I don't know. I'd rather stay up here with our families." I say, as I am not wanting to have another Christmas 2005 happen again. Because, she may not seem like a mean person on the outside but when you're alone with her she becomes very judgmental and...physical.

I'd rather not talk about that now though, the cookies just finished. Food: The only light in my dark,miserable life. I head to the kitchen and notice the line around the cookies. Maybe I'll wait a bit. When it comes to food, I'm kind of a secret addict. I wait about five minutes and my family has settled back into there spots.

I sneakily tip toe into the kitchen, not wanting to draw extra attention to myself. Then, I snatch up my cookies and walk away. "Are the cookies good, Joy?" Someone asks me. I give a little, "Mmm hmm" and walk away with two cookies on my plate and four in my pockets. I really didn't want to be judged right now. I didn't have the tears to shed. I was kind of like that with judgement and criticism. It always made me break down in tears. I don't know why.

But, hey! It's Christmas day. I should be at least a little cheery, even though every fiber in my body told me not to. I didn't feel the Christmas joy today. I didn't feel like Christmas this whole holiday season. Maybe, its me. Perhaps Joy is the problem. If Joy doesn't have joy does that make everyone unhappy. I really don't want to think about that right now. All I can say is that right now my name feels like a slap in the face.

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Hey, people!
Sorry for the wait. Better late than never, right? I just figured, "Hey the holidays are coming around, let's finish this book up!" Well, I hope you liked it. There's a lot more of it to come.
Forever and always-
A. F. Grace