I Am Me

the crash (3)

"Taya! Dylan! Lunch is on the table!" Dad yells from the kitchen for me and my brother to come down.

I get up from my desk where I was doing the weeks homework and head towards the hallway. The beautiful smell of fresh cucumber and tomatoes coaxes me to walk faster. Oh how I love family lunches on the weekend! 

My mum and dad have set the table and are waiting on us, already seated. Dylan runs past me, accidentally pushing me against the wall. "Sorry Taya," he yells over his shoulder. He makes a big palaver about taking his seat next to mum. Lately he's been doing a bit extra to show her that he loves her. He's been trying to get on her good side ever since he saw that shiny 'new' X-Box on eBay a few weeks ago. 

"Dylan, would you be a dear for me and get the water from the fridge, please?" And mum's making the most of it. 

"Of course," he says politely before speaking under his breath, "Just a hundred more."

I take my seat next to dad and across from where Dylan sits. "So, how was your date the other night Taya?" Dad asks as he blows lightly at a piece of curled pasta at the end of his fork. I almost choke on my food. How did he know? It's not like I was trying to hide it from him, I just didn't get around to letting him know. Besides he's been away for most of the week.

"How did you know?"

"Nothing get's past me Taya, you know that. Who's the boy?" I can feel my palms get sweaty and I have to wipe them with a napkin under the table. 

"Uh, it was just Sarah's cousin. Charlie." I say. 

"Oh," he says with an unreadable face and goes back to eating his pasta. I bite the corners of my lip and keep my head down. Dad's never really understood this sort of thing. I feel like I've let him down and I don't even know what for.

Lunch went slowly after that. 

* * * 

I slip into my trackies, hoodie on top and tie up my sports runners, ready for my weekend run. 

I shut the door of my room and head out of the house, "Be back in a about 10 minutes, mum!"

When I get to the gate I start to run. I know it sounds cliche, but it's better than walking. I mean, if some just-out-of-jail murderer is running towards me, I'd prefer to be already running.

I turn the corner, run past the milk bar, down the stairs towards the train station where kids like to skate sometimes and into the local park.

That's my route. I like to take ownership of it. It describes all the best parts of my life. After school, Dad used to take me to the milk bar to get a Big M - chocolate of course, back when he had time to do that. It may come as a shock but I used to grab my scooter and race around there with my friends as a little kid. Not anymore though, way to dangerous. And as for the park, I like to go past there just in case I catch a glimpse of an old teddy bear rustling in the bushes. He used to belong to me and my best friend Dean until we left him behind one time. He told me once that if you lose a toy then they'll spend eternity looking for you, but aren't smart enough to leave the place you lost them.

I love to remind myself of my childhood. It was so much easier back then. It just gives you that little glimmer of ho- "Watch out!"

I instantly snap out of my thoughts but don't have anytime to piece together what's going on because someone has already crashed their bike into me. I fly back hitting the ground. Luckily, all that time practising how to fall properly on my bed came into action. I keep my head up, hand behind it and land on my butt rolling onto my back. It still killed, but at least I didn't break anything.

I get up slowly, and assess my body. I have quite a few grazes and by back is throbbing.

I stand up though and have a look at the person who hit me. It's a little boy, about 10, and he's bleeding from the head. I take a look around. There's nobody else in the park. I check his pulse just to make sure he's alive, he is, and then ring emergency services.

"What is the nature of your emergancy?" The lady asks.

"A-ambulance please."

The lady connects the call to ambulance where a man answers the phone, "Ambulance, what is the problem and where are you?"

"There was a bike incident and a boy was knocked over and he's bleeding from the head and I don't know what to do. Is he going to be okay? What do I do?" Panic starts to grow inside me. Anxiety fills my whole body. What if this boy dies here? It would be all my fault. If only I was watching where I was going. This is all my fault. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 

"Miss, don't panic," The paramedic says calmly. It doesn't help. "Now where are you?"

"Glen Cove Park, East Castle. Please hurry!"

"We will do our best to get there as quickly as possible. Stay with he boy and continuously check if he has a consistent pulse rate and breathing properly."

"Okay, th-thank you." The call ends.

Oh my, this poor boy. I can't bring myself to think that I was the one responsible for this. If I had just seen him, if I had've reacted sooner. I look him over again and tuck a stray strand of hair from his fringe behing his ears. He's just so young. His eyes are partially closed still, and his face is pale.

As I continue to make sure he's breathing something that really begins to stand out is the amount of blood he's loosing. Is that normal? I don't think so... oh no!

This boy is going to die on me. This boy is going to die. Oh my gosh! It's all my fault.

The panic really begins to rise now. This boy is loosing blood really fast and I don't know what to do or how to stop it. I don't even have anything to cover the wounds with. All I can do is look at him and wait for the ambulance, I wish it would come quicker.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

I start to hyperventilate. They may have to bring two ambulances if they don't hurry up!