Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The Final Chapter

Ch. 6 - Lupin's Melancholy

The figure raised his arms, "Hold your fire, it's me, Remus!"

Hermione and Ron came clattering down the stairs, awakening Mrs Black. "Filth, mudbloods, stain on my fathers-" But I snapped my wand at her and she fell silent once more.

Harry remained on guard, "Come out where we can see you." He practically snarled. Lupin took a few steps forward, showing his lined, scarred face. He raised his hands in a surrendering gesture, "I'm Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map. Married to Nymphadora, commonly known as Tonks. I taught you how to produce a Patronus, which takes the form of a stag." He stated calmly at Harry.

He lowered his wand.

"Don't be so quick to lower your wands, Hermione and Ron. As your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Harry, I accept you had to check." Lupin said, and we all filed into the front room, where most others were sleeping, of course presently awake though.

"What's going on, mummy?" Snowy squeaked, cuddling me as I lifted her from Jenny's lap. "Shh, my love. Go back to sleep." I kissed her head, and she did as told. Jenny shifted slightly in her seat, and Tobias awoke with a slow blink. Shade lifted him, and hushed him softly. Jenny stretched, "What's happeni- oh, hi Remus." She mumbled in a slow, exhausted voice.

"Remus-? Oh, right." Nova muttered, both her and Hawthorne lifting their heads. James did not stir on the floor, but Olive did, and he was exposed - the blanket had fallen away and he was shivering. "Jenny." I said, and my friend rolled her eyes, sending me an unimpressed glance. "Kick him." She told me.

"Get up, you lazy bugger." I growled, jabbing James in the ribs with my combat boot. He slowly awoke and clutched Olive back to his chest, tucking the blanket around them both. "Oh, Moony." He yawned. I sat down at the table once more, laying against Shade, who stroked my belly - a habit he had retained even after I had given birth - and assured himself I was safe. I grasped his hand, watching Lupin intently.

Hermione pointed her wand at the fireplace and without any words, the fire sprung up from a void, giving the stark stone walls a sense of life.

Lupin pulled some Butterbeers from his cloak, but there weren't enough so Shade and I shared, and the others did the same. He began to explain certain aspects of the situation: "The Death Eaters searched The Burrow from top to bottom, and found that ghoul in the attic, and they interrogated those who were left, but none from the members of the Order knew you were there." He paused. "Death Eaters forced themselves into the Order's houses, no deaths however, but they burned down Dedalus Diggle's home, though he wasn't there, and they used the Cruciatus Curse on Tonks' family. They're all right - shaken, but overall alright."

Shade gripped me tighter, afraid for his family's life.

Lupin tossed a Daily Prophet onto the table, and we all peered at it with wide eyes. The headline read:

WANTED FOR QUESTIONING ABOUT THE DEATH OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Hermione read over page two, mumbling about Muggle-born Registration, and the newly appointed Muggle-born Registration Commission.

Lupin went as far as to explain that attendance at Hogwarts was officially compulsory, and that way Voldemort could pick out Muggle-borns and have all the young wizards under his view. "Correct me if I am wrong, Harry, but Dumbledore left you a mission, did he not? I can still be of use without having to know what you are doing, though. You know what I am and what I can do. I could provide protection." He offered.

Jenny frowned, "What about Tonks? You're married! How does she feel about you going away with us?" I gave a slow nod, but stayed out of the conversation for the most part.

"Tonks will be perfectly safe. She'll be at her parents' house."

There was a long silence, and I laid a gentle hand upon the man's shoulder. "Remus, is everything alright, between you-"

"Everything is fine, thank you, Shadow." Lupin brushed off my hand, his voice curt and pointed. I flinched and withdrew, forcing myself to be silent once more. Remus opened his mouth once more, closed it, and then spoke, "Tonks is going to have a baby."

I felt Snowy and Tobias at my ankles and I lifted them to the table, "That's..." I sighed, sharing a knowing look with the man that was so broken inside. I understood what he felt - I had wondered what my kittens would grow up to be in a world so cold, as cold as the hollow aching that Lupin felt in his heart. Jenny leaned forwards and a few gave congratulations.

"Harry, I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick with you." He changed the subject. Harry gave a deep set frown. "Well, I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually." Harry replied slowly.

A silence settled again, and Lupin's face paled, giving him the sense that he was dead on his feet. "You don't understand."

"Explain, then." Harry said.

Lupin swallowed, "I- I made a grave mistake marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgement and I have regretted it very much ever since."

"I see, so you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?" Harry said gruffly. I let out a low growl, "Harry!" I hissed. Lupin sprang to his feet, the chair toppling over backwards, and the glare he cut through to Harry was so fierce, the shadow of the wolf he was inside flashed in his eyes.

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and unborn child?! I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!" Lupin kicked aside the overturned chair. "You have only ever seen me amongst the Order, or under Dumbledore's protection at Hogwarts! You don't know how most of the wizarding world sees creatures like me! Don't you see what I've done?! Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child- the child-"

Lupin seized handfuls of his hair, and he began to appear quite deranged. I clutched my babies and tried not to cry - this man was so very kind, and it was because of that, that he had believed he'd hurt everybody around him. He believed his poor, innocent child will be as monstrous as he believed himself to be. "My kind usually don't breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it- how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom is must always be ashamed!"

"Remus, how could any child be ashamed of you?! Don't say things like that!" I pleaded. Lupin rounded on me, wide-eyed, but Harry spoke first, harsh and abrasive, "Oh, I don't know Shadow. I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

Shade gave a dark growl, but I made sure we both kept our mouths shut. "If the new regime thinks Muggle-borns are bad, what will they do to a half-werewolf whose father's in the Order? My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?" Harry snarled.

"How- how dare you!" Lupin shouted, "This is not about a desire for- for danger or personal glory- how dare you suggest such a-"

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil. You fancy stepping into Sirius' shoes-"

"Harry!" Hermione cried, but Harry continued towards Lupin's livid face.

"I'd never have believed this. The mane who taught me to fight dementors - a coward."

Lupin drew his wand so fast that few of us had a chance to react, but I had seen the slight movement and I was ready for it. The spell flew from the wand, but I leapt in the way with a snarl, shifting in the process. I was slammed into the opposite wall with a thundering crash, and I let out a low, groaning whimper.

I glanced up to see the end of Lupin's cloak disappear out the doorway. "Remus, Remus come back!" Jenny wailed, stumbling after him. Moments later, the door slammed, and Jenny trudged back in. Harry didn't even thank me, and began to glance over the Daily Prophet that Lupin had left on the dusty table.

"I think he deserved that." James said bluntly. Jenny launched herself at him, but I got in the way once more, her body ploughing into my aching side. "Stop." I growled. "It doesn't matter whether he deserved it or not now. He's gone and it's over."

James shook his head, "It's never over."