When I think about my life it's pretty simple I'm just me and I'm ok with that my goofiness, my obsession with chocolate but when something bizarre and completely uncalled for happens and destroys that. You start not knowing yourself because you can't do the things you used to do that made you well you.
But instead you're left broken and lost like a ship after a storm in the middle of the ocean not completely destroyed that it sinks but not good enough to move. When that night happened that's what happened to me I was that ship in fact I still am, and I, not doing anything about it I'm losing myself every second every minute every time I visit that hospital I lose something.
I'm a bomb that's silently waiting to explode but there's no one there to get hurt other than myself, and I only have myself to blame for that. People tend to leave when you stop talking to them, when every time they ask if you're ok you just nod.
It's stupid how we ask people if they're ok after a traumatic event happens it doesn't help I can say that from experience it does the opposite actually it makes you realize how not ok you are and how everyone is simply satisfied with your simple answer that they don't bother finding out if it's true or not.
It's all bullshit really if someone asked me if I'm ok and I really told them how I'm feeling they'd freak cause they're not asking because they care they're asking because it's polite, because they naively think that you're still you but you're not. You're not you everyone changes but sometimes we change too fast that we don't have time to adapt to who you have become and that makes you hate yourself because you miss you.
Not this different person that you are now and that's how I feel. I'm just left alone in this world with a brother who might as well be dead and two actually dead parents. And it's killing me because I know that alex might never wake up and I hate it, I hate thinking about it, I hate everything about it but what scares me the most is what about me.
What's going to happen to me am I going to live the rest of my life visiting my brother who doesn't even know I'm there, I had a life I was a good person yet life still decided to bite me in the ass. And now more than ever I wish I had someone but my someone is in a coma and I'm all alone, sometimes I wish I was in a coma too because I might as well be dead or half dead because I'm a walking corpse and I hate it but I guess it's me now gone the girl that you used to laugh at the stupidest thing instead it's this random stranger and I'm not sure if it's just a visitor or it's staying but honestly don't care anymore cause I'm tired of it. Every bit of it!
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523 words!!! Anyways to that was just a little view of Rosa's thoughts and I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this cause I haven't updated in ages but I love writing so love you peeps :)
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Nighttime Sadness
Fiksi RemajaRosalena is a normal teenager excited for her last year of high school. That's until one day she wakes up and finds both of her parent died and her older brother in a coma. Will it take one stubborn and blunt boy to realize that you have to move on...
