I have two daughters and they did not get delivered to me by a stork. Yeah, my brothers used to joke with me when I was a kid saying I wasn't their "real" sister, that I had been left in a basket on the front porch. It was so convincing of a tale that the first time I ever saw a stork deliver a baby on tv in the cartoons, it validated their joke into reality. I mean because everything you see in the cartoons is real right?
Well, I had met this young but older than me guy, one day heading to the studio. Parked my car at the store and was walking in to get a cigar, and this other younger teenager stopped me and asked if I could get him a mild, cause he was banned from the store. But in the midst of walking into the doors, I heard a guy say, "Can I smoke with you?" I turned around to see two guys getting out a truck which one was talking to me directly. I smiled and went into the store, got my cigar and was going to my car. He was quite shy considered to the guys that usually tried to get my attention and he made his way to me. We talked for a bit, exchanged contact info and I went to the studio.
That was the beginning of five years of a cool thing turned cold. In that time we experienced life and I bare his two daughters. Afterward, things changed and we went our separate ways. That certainly is the clean edit, but since it isn't really the focal point of this chapter, I summarized it up.
No regrets on my behalf, but it was one of the greatest decisions I've ever made in regards to relationships. My next best will be when I finally do agree to marry someone and actually follow through.
Trust me I have valid reason because this one guy proposed and I came to find out from his own mom that he was having an affair (and child) with his first cousin. Then there was the guy who swore up and down that he was looking for me all his life and knew we'd get married...only to find out he was addicted to ecstasy and was a woman abuser. If that wasn't enough, there's another who swore up and down that through all his childhood "wet dreams" and years of marriage that he thought about me. That now fate had made us come together again, that he knew he was going to marry me and show me the "finer things in life"; yeah only for him to ask for my hand in marriage, then answer the phone one night talking about, I'm on a date.
So laughing out loud, at the true confusion men bring my way, so I don't miss any of that because I didn't ever have it. You know what gets me is that "Relationship Experts" love to claim that women go after the wrong kind of guys. In none of these cases or any other for that matter did I go after these guys. They all came to me and for the sake of maintaining and entertaining my own sanity, I will not count the hundreds or more of guys who randomly blurt out things like, "Marry Me" or " I know your husband is one lucky man..." but when I say I'm not married they go, "Well if you would marry me, you'd be the happiest woman." and things of the sort. After a while I realized that I'm immune to the hogwash that people come up with. So it's hard for a real good woman like myself to take any man seriously.
I don't blame anyone for me giving them a personal chance to be in my life, but I've learned that I have to go with my instinct ;accept that my natural , kind nature is what draws people to me in the first place.
When it comes to the dating scene I'm oblivious to it. Mainly busy taking care of home and staying busy so I'm not warped into these pretend relationship sessions that are being offered. Do I have a wall up, no not at all, I actually just have on my "No Bullshit Allowed" radar on in which case , I avoid the obvious and uncalled for games that people play.
These experiences are learning ones, and as I mature, my natural desire to remain content is coming into full bloom.
Being in a relationship sounds so wonderful, but for me, I can do without if I am going to get the kind of nonsense that is non-nurturing and has no perks. So no matter what research says, my own life experiences have proven, that if it's meant for anyone to have a nice fulfilling relationship then they will.
