"Happy Birthday Josh!"
"No,no,no that does'nt sound right."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!"
"I might scare him with that..."
"Hey! Happy Birthday my...my friend?"
Tyler questioned himself in the mirror. He was feeling weird to call Josh his friend after what happened between them last week.
After that they did'nt met for a week. And Today was Josh's birthday and the singer felt like he was being ignored.
(Is he ignoring me?)
He thought still staring at the glass.
(No...that's not like him)
He told himself but was unsure.
As he thought about it another thought occured to him and he widened his eyes in the reflection.
(Or am I hiding from him?)
He was doubtful but it felt partially true. He loved his best friend, he loved the smile and those eyes which made him forget the world. He always longed to see that face no matter how many times he'd already seen it. But after one certain day, he could'nt stand those features. He would feel heated and could'nt sit beside his friend without a blush. There closeness is what made them apart and Tyler was taking all the blame on him.
"Stupid Tyler! Stupid me!"
He cursed dragging himself to the bed and fell face down on it than groaned. The face that Josh made after the realization was floating in his mind and it was torturing him.
He wished he could go back in time to make things right.
Tyler pressed his face into the sheets as emotions clouded his heart and mind. He felt disgusted, depressed, anxious and hurt.
His brain continued to torment him and his lungs did'nt get sufficient air. He wanted to suffocate himself to death. But soon his instints kicked in, he quickly pushed himself up and gasped for breath.
After a few deep breaths he calmed down and sat straight staring back at his bed for no reason.
His eyes spot the red beanie discarded between the pillow.
He Picks it and pulls it over his black hair and turns towards the mirror. He could see his face in it but not lower than the shoulders because he was sitting on the bed.
Suddenly his eyes fall on the beautifully wrapped gift sitting on the dresser, waiting for Josh.
Tyler walked to the mirror and stood over the presant.
He trailed the silver ribbon with his index finger as he thought (would Josh even want to see me on his birthday?)
He dropped his hand to his side and looked up at his reflection in the mirror.
The singer begun to read his own features and they appeared ugly to him by every second. The red beanie, Soft eyes, pale innocent face. Slowly his reflection begun to change.
The eyes turned red and sharp on a taut face. Than it answered his question with a kind of hollow.
"No, he hates you, Josh hates you."
Tyler's heart gave a hard thump at those words and he could'nt help himself from denial.
"He does'nt, he would never do that."
"He did'nt met you in a week, he wants you out of his life."
"That can't be true!" the singer rised his voice at his reflection as his eyes teared up.
"Don't deny it Tyler, Josh hates you!"
"Shut up!," Tyler cried in a shaky voice with knitted eyebrows but kept the tears from falling "you're lying!"
"Lying? How do you expect him to be your friend after what you did to him!?" his reflection questioned mirroring his expression but it did'nt had the tears.
Tyler closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he begun to think logically. He thought that his brain was just playing tricks on him with his own doubts and fears. With that in mind he opened his eyes and mumbled "just shut up." As he took a box of face cream that was near the mirror. He opened the lid and smeared the white substance on the mirror.
After he was done he kept the box down and looked back at himself. He could see a face that was blurred.....
Tyler was staring at it when suddenly he thought he heard a bell ring. He turned towards the bedroom's door and waited for another ring, just to make sure that he was'nt hearing things.
And he heard it again.
The singer walked out of his room and called out "who is it?" As he came by the door.
"Pizza Boy."
Tyler's heart skipped a beat as he heard the voice, it sounded oddly like Josh. The pale boy stopped himself from opening the door and said.
"Wrong place! I did'nt order anything!"
"Tyler....just open the door."
(It is him!) He thought and hesitantly opened the door.
The next moment he found himself face to face with the person he had been hiding from.
Tyler stared at the man standing on his porch, taking in every single curve of the beautiful face, just realizing how much he'd missed it.
"Uhhh....can I come in?"
Josh smiled when Tyler seemed to be going in a daze.
"Yea, yea sure."
The singer muttered moving aside and the other boy let himself in.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have preparations?" Tyler asked as he closed the door.
"That's why i'm here!" Josh exclaimed facing his friend with a bright smile.
"But this is my house."
"I know! I'm going to celebrate MY birthday in YOUR house!" The drummer beamed.
Tyler swallowed and lowered his eyes, he didn't wanted this to happen and Josh seemed strange. He was like, nothing happened between them and that was kinda disturbing.
"That's unlikely, nobody does that..." he said.
"Doesn't mean I shouldn't -" Josh stopped himself mid sentence as he noticed that his friend was kinda gloomy "you don't want to party?"
Tyler stared at his feet as he thought about a response. He didn't wanted to party, because he was afraid that he might get drunk and repeat his mistake and last time he wasn't even drunk....
"Maybe i'm not feeling well."
The singer said as he walked past Josh, to his room.
"You don't look ill to me."
The drummer admitted as he followed the other boy.
The singer had no idea what to say. He sat on his bed and slipped the first thing that came to his mind.
"Maybe i'm constipated."
. . . . . . .
Tyler didn't heard a reply so he looked up and saw Josh standing in the door with a red face and a ridiculous grin. He was clearly trying not to laugh.
The singer averted his eyes down to his hands in his lap and waited to hear the laughter, which he undoubtedly adored.
"Ahem," Josh cleared his throat instead and calmed down "that doesn't mean you shouldn't party." He said and walked over to his friend's bed. The monent he sat on the bed, instantly Tyler bolted up looking down at him awkwardly and when there eyes met Josh knew that the singer was avoiding him.... or his touch.
Then from the corner of his eye he caught the mirror blurred with white. He felt guilt hit him and he lowered his head with a grim line on his lips. He understood that Tyler had one of his anxious encounters with the 'blurryface' and it was his fault. He will admit that he hadn't even texted the singer and will also admit that he reacted like a jerk after their kiss. And that's why he's here right now to finish whatever is going on between them.
The drummer locked away all of his emotions for once and stood up facing the timid pale boy.
"Is all of this because of the kiss?"
Tyler's breath got stuck and he didn't say a word.
"If so, than i'm here to finish that," Josh continued and Tyler could feel a lump in his throat.
TBC...
______________________
