Have You Noticed...

Children Songs

Have you noticed some lullabies or children songs are just weird? And creepy? Take "Rock-A-Bye Baby" for example.

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

PAUSE RIGHT THERE! THIS IS ABOUT A BABY FALLING OFF A TREE AND DYING! WHY?! Then let's go to "Hush, Little Baby".

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT! IF SOMEONE DOESN'T DO SOMETHING YOU WANT THEM TO DO, YOU BRIBE THEM! AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU BRIBE THEM EVEN MORE! WHAT IS A BABY EVEN GONNA DO WITH A DIAMOND RIGHT?! CHOKE ON IT?! Then last, "Humpty Dumpty".

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put humpty together again

NAME ONE TIME THAT MENTIONS A EGG?! HE COULD BE A VASE! WHY DO DOES HE HAVE TO BE A EGG?! NEXT THING YOU TELL ME HE WAS THE EASTER BUNNY'S PRIZED POSSESSION! UGHHHH...