So this is a story about a girl (me) living my life and trying to survive my last 2 years of high school. I did change names. Everything written has happened to me. There will be a new part every Friday, usually the biggest thing that happened to me...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Forewarning: This part has a lot of drama in it. I talk about how my closest friend literally broke my heart just 1 week ago, and it's a long rant to get my feelings out, feel free not to read.
When I was younger, I never thought how my life is now, is how it would turn out. I thought that high school was great, you had so much freedom, and classes were fun and exciting. But in reality, I have to ask to go to the bathroom.
I thought that teenagers were adults and grown when I was younger. Boy was I wrong, teenagers are literally the dumbest people I've ever met. And I am one of them.
Most importantly, I never thought that by this age I'd feel so heartbroken despite the fact that I've never been in a high school relationship.
In my freshman and sophomore years of high school I had 3 friends. Alice, Lillian, and Melissa. Freshman year, me and Lillian were inseparable, the closest we've ever been. Towards the end of the year, Lillian, Melissa, and I added Alice to our group. Me and Alice became close and were best friends throughout my sophomore year. Melissa was just that friend that no one was really close with until sophomore year when she was best friends with Cathy, in which case she pushed everyone out of her life except Cathy and it was real awkward with everyone else.
Sophomore year the friend group was as follows- Lillian, Cathy (bffs with Melissa) ,Melissa (bffs with Cathy, Me (bffs with Alice, Alice (bffs with me), and Peggy (I really hate Peggy. Everyone hates her, except Cathy which is the only reason she's not gone. Peggy is just a bitch who thinks she's better than everyone, and I just want to shave her eyebrows off.)
Yet now, as sophomore year is over. I'm only left with Lillian and we're not that close anymore.
Melissa and Cathy pushed everyone out of their lives except for each other. So that's why I'm not close with either of them anymore. And no one liked Peggy to begin with; but me and Alice, who even knows what happened there.
Alice had been talking about joining the track team for the past month, and I was like, umm why? I only asked because she doesn't run in her free-time, she didn't run in gym because she had tendinitis in both of her knees (she was in physical therapy for 5 months because of it) and it's not like she has the time to do it. So I kept asking why? Why do you want to join? And all I got in response was, "because I like to run".
Never once in the past year and a half that we've been close has she run for fun, or just because. Never once has she run in the past year and a half. But okay, you want to join the track team.
This is where I got mad. I'm not mad that she wants to join the team. Go ahead, ignore everyone;s advice not to, get yourself hurt, get involved in something you'll end up hating with people you'll hate even more. I asked, so when are we going to hang out? You realize you're not going to have any free-time right? Track has practice every day after school, plus 2 meets a week on-top of those practices, and competitions all day on Saturdays. And, she has dance on the days she won't have meets.
She told me we'd be able to walk around in the morning, and that I should go get my schedule changed so that we can have a class together. But then I told her I'm driving to school next year and that I'm not bending over backwards to accommodate her.
She told me that she'll be free by January and then we can hang out. I guess when she saw that i was upset at her saying that, she replied with "We would have to part ways eventually".
What the actual hell does that mean? Like bitch you did not just say that we aren't going to be friends anymore did you? You did not tell me that because you want to join the track team, you won't make time for me anymore, that you want me to wait around until it is most convenient for you? No bitch I am not. I decline you offer, bullshit is not accepted here. I don't deserve to to have friends who don't prioritize me. Who will just leave me. Who will leave me alone on my birthday, (I asked her, so I'm just going to be alone on my birthday? All she said was 'basically') I know my worth. And my worth is greater than being ignored for 6 months, until you can be my friend again.
It didn't take me very long to see that she was joining the track team to become closer with Eleanor. A girl from her advisory. And that's fine, if she wants to become best friends with her, I wish her the best. But if she's just going to leave me, I'd like to wish her a good-fvcking-bye first.
She told me this on a Tuesday, we didn't talk all of Wednesday except she asked if I could take her to the damn airport when we leave for Europe in 3 weeks (Me, Alice, Lillian, and Melissa are all going to Europe together). She left with her dad for their Europe trip that Thursday. We haven't talked since. It's been nearly 1 week. Who knows how our trip will be. All I know is that it will be very awkward.
Never, never in 1 million years did I think that I'd be starting my summer into junior year having lost one of my closest friends. Never would that have crossed my mind. I also never realized how much a friend could break your heart.
It sucks. It really does. I want my junior year to stand out. This is the year that I'm an upperclassmen, Ii can drive by myself this year. I never thought that I'd be walking into my 2nd to last year of school without one of my closest friends.
