This is the thing that comes before the story, but I forgot what it was called. This was written by 3 idiots during math class and lunch (Sorry Mrs. Wasson). If you spot grammar mistakes (there are many we know) please tell us. This story is very random, pointless, and you will gain nothing from reading this. Thank you, and proceed. *Bows*
Disclaimer: homo Verian is a play on words for homo sapien so please shut up
September 23
I will not last much longer. The homo verian is after me. I have run out of false-dad puppets, I have no more money for expensive violins or oil. But I will keep on going for as long as I can; I must not give up hope! Wait the homo verian is approaching I must hide my pencil case. I-
September 25
I have been captured by the homo verian. As much as I would like to stop writing this journal, (the homo verian would kill me if she found out) I must alert the world about the homo verian if I ever escape. She is trying to take over the world! My journal is humanity's only chance. When I was on the run, I heard a rumor that her Ruby, a short sub-species of the homo verian, was working on a serum to make people short. The shorter you are, the easier it is for the homo verian to infect you. The homo verian, I hope, will probably keep me alive after she has found my pencil box so she can test Ruby's serum on me.
September 26
I found a message scratched on my jail cell's floor today. It read, "Beware of the Chongol." I wonder what a Chongol is...
September 27
Today the homo verian herself brought me lunch, and threatened not to give me lunch if I didn't tell her where my pencil case was. I must stay strong.
September 28
Today the homo verian gave me alphabet soup. It tasted like a ruler, and like school.
September 30
It is the last day of September, I think. The days are hard to keep track of because there is almost no light, and I sleep whenever I feel like it.
October 1
I ate a potato bug.
October 5
I haven't eaten since I devoured the potato bug. The homo verian comes around every day holding delicious smelling pizza (homo verian's favorite food), prodding me for information on my pencil case...I am so very tempted to give her this information but...I cannot.
October 6
All I do is sleep, and prepare myself whenever, sporadically, the homo verian walks in. I still haven't eaten. The homo verian waved dark chocolate Pocky in front of my face again. I almost cried.
October 7
For some odd reason, the homo verian gave me high quality spaghetti. It had an amazing aroma, like sprigs of rosemary and thyme were floating around my drab walls. But, I was very suspicious and I think this has something to do with Ruby's short serum. I know I cannot eat it. But, oh, how it hurts.
October 8
I am very bored all day long, so I have decided to draw on the walls. The homo verian can't catch me drawing, because her echo-y footsteps thunder whenever she comes. The spaghetti is still in the corner of my cell, teasing me, calling me, crying out to me.
October 10
I drew a cat today. The homo verian switched out the spaghetti, and added sticks of birch to it. I have never seen soup with sticks in it, but this may be what contains the Ruby's vile potion. Does that mean the first spaghetti was safe? I wonder if this means that Ruby's potion needs birch as an ingredient.
October 11
I found out what the Chongol is today. She seized my only pencil (my pencil case contains other things, I cannot tell you what is in the case if the homo verian finds this journal) so I designed another pencil using the sticks and hollowed the inside out. I put some lead in because I usually keep lead in my pencil case. I ate another potato bug today. Bleh.
October 13
The homo verian is angry, so she is careless. She told the guard guarding me to give me her food, and her my food. The guard tried to protest that she made a mistake, but she snapped at him, so he shut up. I can't wait 'till lunch.
October 13 (lunch)
Lunch was a slice of creamy chocolate cake, a can of Sprite, and a taco. That was the order I ate it in. It was amazing. Unfortunately, the homo verian yelled at me to give her the pencil case and her lunch. I wish I could barf on command.
October 14
Another mistake the homo verian made was she gave the wrong address to the massage lady, so I got a free very expensive massage. It was very relaxing, and helped me forget my troubles. I do worry that this is secretly part of the homo verian's plan, and she is trying to put me off my guard.
October 15
The potato bugs in my cell are eating the spaghetti and shrinking. I was right!
October 17
I have eaten for the first time since the homo verian's lunch. I got more alphabet soup, and drew a dog today. I'm glad the pencil lead's dull silver color blends into the wall.
October 18
I'm bored.
October 19
ABCDEFH,HIJKLMNOP,QRS,TUV,WXY&Z.
Help me.
October 20
Oh, I wish I could escape.
October 21
I have decided. I will escape, and use the walls to design my escape plan.
Sank yoo for reading!
I don't think you read this but oh well!
YOU ARE READING
The Homo Verian Reports
HumorPlease don't read this. You will gain nothing, absolutely nothing from reading this. It's pointless to read this stupid stuff. It's about a person named Mount. Everest who didn't climb the mountain and gets kidnapped somehow by the infamous homo ver...
