The Homo Verian Reports

I am FAT! I WILL SIT ON YOU

...well this is sad

January 14
    A doll ia drove everyone, including the one almost as short as Ruby, to the forest. The Homo Verian got the strange idea that there might be a Starbucks there. She wanted me to use my nonexistent map skills to find it, because A doll ia was driving so everyone got carsick and threw up at some point. They opened the windows and barfed. My hands were tied so I couldn't open the window. I had to barf inside the car. The Homo Verian forced A doll ia to stop, and made A doll ia carry her to the woods. After around 10 minutes, A doll ia collapsed from exhaustion. Soon Chongol was forced to carry her. She turned into a Trion Cube from the Homo Verian's weight after about 2 minutes. When the Homo Verian got on Ruby's back, her feet still scraped the ground. One second after she lifted to her feet, Ruby got completed crushed. I had to help unflatten everyone. The Homo Verian now, with nobody to carry her, ordered us to go back to the car and drive home. Ruby tightened the bond around my wrists, and back we went.

January 15
    When nobody is in the office, I look around for the last book in "Homo Verian and Friends."

January 16
    The One almost as short as Ruby told me that they had run out of alphabet soup and I was excited, thinking of the gourmet spaghetti. But, of course, it was not to be. I just didn't eat today.

January 17
    Well...I did get spaghetti today. But it tasted even worse than the potato bugs! I already miss alphabet soup. The spaghetti is a thin mass of undercooked, scraggly noodles, stacked on top of a single, basically raw meatball.

January 18
    I am so happy! At last, I can complete my collection of "Homo Verian and Friends." One of the Homo Verian's allies asked for an elite troop to aid him in something, and brought the Homo Verian a state-of-the-art lead water bottle (It will hurt much more if it is made from lead) and a book called The Homo Verian: A Collector's Guide. The next time I get spaghetti, I'll lasso it off her desk. After the Homo Verian received the gifts, she promptly sent a guard from another compound to the ally.

January 19
    I have succeeded! I gulped my tasteless spaghetti down except for one strand, and lassoed the book! But, I can't read it today because the Homo Verian is mad, and will sleep in her office whenever any of her things are stolen. (Lassoed)

January 20
    I think The Homo Verian: A Collector's Guide is very informative. In the back, there are some quotes by the Homo Verian. They are very...interesting. Here are a couple!
    "I am FAT. I will sit on you."
    "GIVE...ME...CHIP!!! OR I SMACK YOU WIT WATA BOTTA!"
    "RAWR!"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!Give ME Starbucks gift card!"
    I also read the section on her strengths. Some correlate to her weakness though. Here are some examples of her strengths.
Drinking large Starbucks under 1 minute
Bonking people with water bottles
Playing violin
Shopping
Spending money
Hitting things with water bottle

January 21
    Today I read the chapter on her weakness (Things she's bad at, and things she is weak against) Here are some highlights.
Smiling
Oil in her hair
Tackling
Get stunned by water poured on their head
Bamboo sticks
Spray bottle with the label " Homo Verian Spray" (Fill with water/oil)
Also, she can be easily bribed, if you have the right things; here is a short list.
Hi Chews
Pizza
Chips
Starbucks
I also learned that you can test if someone is a Homo Verian by staring into their eyes for 9.1367183 seconds. If they start hopping away, they are a Homo Verian. I'll test that tomorrow.