Of Rubber Ducks and Bath Time Fun

Snowflakes and A Christmas Wish

Snowflakes and A Christmas Wish

Christmas Eve and here we were, Lucas and I dancing in the moonlight as the latest flurry of snow settled on the ground. It had taken me all of five minutes of staring up with the 'you know you want to make me smile' face to get us out here... the bottle of wine and the stereotypical Christmas roasted chestnuts discarded on the dining room floor where we'd been wrapping the children's presents. For a few short minutes though, this was just us and the light of the stars and the moon and the feel of being so close to one another – I'd missed him as always. When I was away from Lucas even for a few hours, there was a pain in my heart as though I was incomplete and when he returned and that smile, that was a mixture of sweetheart and bad boy, I could feel myself become whole.

“What are you thinking gorgeous...”

After all these years I loved the fact that he just knew when my mind was elsewhere.... though for the first time in weeks it was in a good place, life had been difficult to say the least with the children all being sick and well, other stuff that had impacted on me. I'd felt like I had been slipping through cracks in life and no one was there to pull me back – I'd been too scared to tell Lucas how afraid I'd become. The nightmares of my past a constant as they were as we moved forward through our life together but I was smiling, a genuine happy smile as I lifted myself up on my toes to kiss his gentle mouth. As our lips touched I hoped he could feel every ounce of love I felt for him... how without him I was a shadow and not his gorgeous girl, his wife of so many years... I was that girl in the club who was nervous and shy....

“Nothing serious – well it might be when we get the credit card bills for that lot! I swear Lucas that we've bought an entire bookshop as well as everything pink, purple and blue that 'toys-r-us' had in stock. I mean seriously, did Aeryn have to have practically every Barbie doll they had in stock?”

Bless him, he looked bashful and I realised he thought I was being serious, I knew he'd spoil the children rotten – he always did. The three of them were his babies and there was nothing he wouldn't do to see the smiles on their faces. I mean – this was the man who had let his baby daughter sweet-talk him into getting her a duck for Gods sake! A duck that drove me made at five in the morning with it's bloody quacking but it was now a member of the North family and I had four people who would hate me if I gave him to the city farm I'd practically begged Lucas to let me do. Wrapping my arms just a little tighter and bringing his face down to me so I could kiss along the stubble on his jawline that I adored before claiming his mouth in a more sensual kiss I smiled before being spun under his arm to the music, an acoustic version of 'Wonderful Tonight' that reminded me of the time I'd been whisked away to see Clapton in concert...

“Gorgeous girl... I asked her what she wanted from Father Christmas and she said 'Barbie' she didn't say what specifically so... what choice did I have? Father Christmas couldn't be seen to get the wrong thing could he? As for the huge collection of pink blocks, books and soft toys - as well as what appears to be every bath toy for babies? That'd be Mother Christmas with her credit card wouldn't it for Elly? Then there's all the robots and cars for Caleb – that child seems to have everything Disney made for that bloody Cars movie now – I only ever seem to see him wearing Mater and Lightening McQueen these days, is it wrong that I miss seeing him in Thomas the Tank Engine and Winnie the Pooh – our babies are getting old Chloe....”

Christ... I knew that look... the puppy dog eyes as he stroked my face.... he wanted baby number four. We'd talked about it that was true and now the business was doing well and Lucas was looking at moving away from MI5, well it was a possibility. I wanted another baby too – another little boy, another miniature Lucas with his dark hair and eyes that could mesmerise anyone who looked at him.