Guide me out of the darkness‏ [Criminal Minds]

With momma's help

"Derek, son, why are you calling so late? Is everything ok?" was the first thing that my momma said when she picked up the phone.

I hated that she had to worry all the time about my safety. However, I also knew that I wouldn't be happy without the BAU... well, if I ever turn into a father then I might leave the FBI. But I still have a lot of time to think about that.

"I need some advice momma" I told her "Do you... do you remember Spencer?"

"Doctor Reid? Of course I do!" she replied, I could hear the smile in her voice and for a reason it warmed my heart "He was of great help during the case of... well, you know" I smiled grateful that she didn't mention the name of Carl, right now it was the last thing I wanted to hear "His trust on you warmed my heart, he is also such a good boy! Not to mention that whenever you called, you are always speaking about him. How could I forget him?"

"The problem momma is that lately I've been... I've been having this strange feelings about him" I confessed to her "And right now, when he left the club with some beautiful strange woman, it broke my heart into pieces. I don't know what is wrong with me!" I exclaimed angrily and frustrated "Why do I wish to run that whore with my car and lock pretty boy in my apartment only for my eyes to see?!"

"Language son! I raised you better than that" she scolded me.

"Sorry, momma" I apologized "But... I am so confused".

"I know baby boy" she replied. I could see her vividly in my mind, flashing me one of her kind and reassuring smiles "You love him Derek, you love Spencer Reid."

"Of course I do, momma. He is my best friend!" I exclaimed confused at where she was trying to get.

"No, son. What I am trying to say is that you are IN LOVE with him" her words left me speechless "You are always speaking about him, whenever he is mentioned you get that sappy look on your face, you know all his favorite things and whenever you see something that he'll like you you buy it for him without a second thought. I've only seen you together for a small amount of time, but during those times you both always lean against each other unconsciously trying to have as much corporal contact as you could. Always gravitating around each other. Not to mentions how protective you are of him".

I shook my head, not wanting to believe what she was saying, refusing my true feeling that I've come noticed these last few months ago "That... that's only because we are best friends. He is like a little brother to me!".

"Derek..." she sighed disappointedly. I hated when she did that, because I always wanted to make her proud "Remember our last family dinner. You've been telling us about the last case your team had been on and how it was Spencer who had solved it with his amazing brain. Your aunt Ashlee commented about how the only thing she has been hearing from you lately was about this Doctor Spencer Reid and that it was a bit unfair that they didn't even know what he looked like, so you had to show them I picture" I nodded my head, even if she couldn't see me, not knowing where she wanted to get with this "Your cousin Brett made a comment about how pretty he was and if you could get him a date with Spencer" I held my cell phone tighter, glaring at the memory of Brett's hungry eyes "We were all afraid that you would end up sending him to hospital! We've never seen you so angry and... possessive before. That's when I... we, the whole family, knew for sure your true feelings for Spencer" I looked at my lap ashamed at my behavior of that day "Also, there's the fact that you call him pretty boy."

"He is pretty, isn't him?" I chuckled sadly, knowing that there was no more hiding or negating my true feelings for Reid "You... you don't mind momma? I mean that I am in love with a man".

"Derek Morgan, you more than anyone should know my feelings about that" she replied sternly "You are my son and I love you no matter what. Now go and get me a new son in law".

"Yes, madam" I replied "Thank you momma" with that said I ended the call and drove towards Reid's building hoping I wasn't late.