Guide me out of the darkness‏ [Criminal Minds]

Closer with each step

"Need a lift, Pretty Boy?" I asked him carefully. I knew that he always takes the subway and didn't need my help, but I also noticed that he was a bit extra nervous during this case. I couldn't afford it being another relapse, I wouldn't forgive myself if he falls back into darkness during my watch "I was going to hit the gym, would you like some self defense classes?".
"Yeah, I would like that" he replied, following me towards the elevators. Once the doors were closed he turned to me and said "Thank you, Morgan".
"It's nothing Reid" I told him "Is the least I could do after not being able to defend you that night..." I shook my head, trying not to be consumed by the guilty and dark thoughts that had been around my head since that awful day "Also, you've made incredible progress these last two months. Especially this last one, I've noticed you more focused on work or books rather than... you know".
"That's all thank to your help Morgan" he said with a grateful smile.
"Not at all, Reid" I replied "I only was there to help you out, you did all this on your own".

"Still, I wouldn't have gotten this far without you" he insisted firmly. A firmness that flattered when we reached the training grounds of the F.B.I building, then he began shifting his gaze and clenching his bag as a small lost kid. It was the cutest damn thing ever... even if I didn't admit it out loud "I... I don't have sport clothes" he winced at his lame excuse, flushing when I laughed.

"I can lend you some" I replied, throwing him one of my smallest pair of jogging and t-shirt "Go change so we can start the class" I laughed a bit more as he stumbled towards the changing room.

I, who already was dressed, began preparing the place to teach him. I turned around when I heard the door being opened again and stopped breathing when Pretty Boy entered the room. Something primitive in me awakened when I saw him wearing my clothes, he looked so adorable in them. It made me want to lock him up in my room and never let anyone lay eyes on him... ever again.

Wait! What? I thought completely lost and very confused at my thoughts.

"I look stupid" he complained, with the cutest pout on his rosy lips.

"No, you look adorable" I said under my breath, but by his red cheeks I could tell that he had heard me. I coughed nervously, grateful for my dark complexion so that he didn't notice my own blush "We'll begin with simple moves and then advance to more complex ones."

That's how we began our first session, one that would soon be followed by many. I ended up becoming his self defense instructor and he spent the following month learning how to fight the bad guys and be better at shooting from me. Something I was very grateful for, because it made this restless feeling I've been having since his kidnapping calm down a bit. Especially because I knew that now he had another way to defend himself, other than his brain and wits. It also helped to know he had something new to think about other than drugs.

"You are not paying attention" I scolded him, knocking him down into the mattress.

I had Reid's arms pinned above his head, his body between my knees and our faces only millimeters against each other. I was only aware of that fact when I felt his warm breath against my mouth. It froze me for a strange reason, I just couldn't move and if I did I only wanted to get even closer. But that was insane, I am not interested in men.

"I am... I am just distracted" he told me in an apologetically tone, eyes never leaving mine, and if they did they only strayed towards my lips and then back to my eyes.

We stayed like that, just staring into each other's eyes and mouths almost touching with each breath, until I decided that enough was enough and stood up, deciding to return to our training.

If I kept on thinking about how soft his skin was under my hands and his breath against my mouth, no one had to know.