If You Do (Jackson)

But it's better if you don't

The loud, reverberating sound of the espresso machine filled the house as you empty-headedly stared at it with heavy eyes. You didn't get any sleep. You've been fretting and racking your brain all night about your best friend's sleep-mumbling, only to come to the painful conclusion that you're probably delusional and only heard what you wanted to hear.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, you heaved out a heavy sigh and tried to shake the thought from your mind as you took your first sip of hot coffee when Jackson came shuffeling into the kitchen as well.

With sleepy, small eyes, he combed his fingers through his hair, yawning.

'Morning ____-', he smiled and you felt a warm feeling spreading through your chest again. You ignored it.

'Good morning.', you greeted him back, your eyes peeking up at him as you hid your face with your mug, pretending to drink so you didn't have to face him straight on. You quickly turned around to grab another cup and prayed to god he didn't notice you blushing. 'Want some coffee?'

You stood up on your tippy toes to reach and open the cupboard, making the black V-neck Tshirt Jackson lended you lift up just a little too much, revealing more of your bare thighs than was moderately appropriate.

Jackson's eyes widened and he swallowed thickly, his eyes locked on your bare skin until he realized what he was doing. Blinking his eyes a few times, he cleared his throat and acted like he just needed to suppress a cough.

'Yeah, thanks. How'd you sleep?'

Your breath hitched in your throat and your hand froze in the air in front of the cupboard. You swallowed hard. Why were you like this? Just act normal. He doesn't need to know anything, it would only make things so awkward. You didn't even know how you'd go about telling him you thought he confessed his love for you in his sleep. How would you even begin to start such a conversation? Just forget it.

You quickly snapped out of it, realizing you were taking too much time for your answer and were starting to make it weird. Don't be weird, don't be weird, don't be weird. He's your best friend for christ's sake, act like it.

'Oh. I slept fine, thanks.', you straight up lied to avoid confrontation, trying to sound as casual as possible. 'How about you?'

'Well, it's weird but i haven't slept this good in ages. I guess it's because you were there, it was nice not to be alone for a change.', he smiled halfly as you handed him his cup of coffee.

Your heart was going wild inside your chest and you desperately tried to calm it down, but you didn't know how. You thought you were over him, that you long accepted the way things were with Jackson. You thought your stupid little crush had evolved into strong, everlasting friendship and you were fine with that. You even preferred it that way. Why were these feelings breaking through again?

'Oh...That's nice.'

That's nice? That's nice? What was wrong with you?!

A few long seconds of tension followed as you were trying to figure out what to say next while jackson just smiled at the ground, rubbing the back of his head again.

A loud ringtone suddenly echoed through the room and snapped you both out of it, Jackson running towards the sound to pick up his phone.

'Hello? What? Who?', he squinted his eyes and listened attentively to the voice on the other side of the line.

'Amber? Is that you? Oh my god! It's so nice to hear from you, how have you been? How was Paris?'

You didn't know why the light in his eyes flickered, or why he smiled from ear to ear. You also didn't know why it made you feel threatened as hell.