Map of Your Head

Chapter 3: Roommates

(Bold is writing)

Matt's POV

I saw him when he first arrived and I haven't been able to get my mind off of him since. I don't really have a good idea about what he looks like because I can't even force myself to go anywhere near him. I guess that's why at tea I ate my meal quickly and went straight to my room. Being in the same room as people I don't know can be crippling. It's just another anxiety trigger.

"You'll be fine," I mouth to myself. Apparently it's strange that I can't even bring myself to speak when I'm alone. I think it's because I'm never truly relaxed. I can force myself into thinking that I am, but even then I can't form actual words; just sounds that almost resemble choking. I haven't spoken a real word in over eleven years. I'm not sure if I even remember how speak.

I lie down in my bed and close my eyes. Curfew isn't until 9 but I'm always in my room before 7. I don't enjoy the presence of others (which is one of the reasons why I have a room to myself) but my therapist says the she doesn't want me in my room all day.

As I drift off to sleep, I find myself thinking about that new guy again. 

~

There's a knock on the door, waking me up. I look to the clock on my night table as someone enters. It's almost 7 am and my therapist is standing in my doorway. She smiles and enters, sitting down at the foot of my bed. "Matthew we've decided that it would be best to give you a roommate," she whispers, causing me to try and call out. I can't say a single thing and it's stressing me out. I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face. "He's a nice guy around your age. His roommate moves out today so it's good for both out you." I shake my head 'no' until it hurts.

"Matthew, his condition is serious as well," she says in an attempt to soothe me. "He shouldn't be alone for extended periods of time." I look up at her and take a few deep breaths before hesitantly nodding 'yes'. She only smiles in response before leaving me alone in silence.

After about 15 minutes or so, the door opens again and one of the doctors is standing there with his hand on the shoulder of someone I don't know. I can feel my breath hitch for a moment, but I'm able to calm myself down enough to avoid hyperventilating.

"Matthew," the doctor says softly. "This is Dominic. He'll be staying with you for a little while." I bury my face in my hands, not wanting to acknowledge either of them. I hear the door close and footsteps approach. I don't want to look up fully, so I gaze past my finger tips to get a look at my new (and first) roommate. It only takes a moment to realise that this boy with dirty blond hair is the new guy that has me a little more anxious than usual. But now that I can see him better, I notice that he's actually rather cute and is probably around my age. He sits down on the bed opposite of mine and doesn't say a word. He doesn't even look at me.

I take a few deep breaths before taking my hands away from my face fully and turning to look at him.

Dom's POV

I fix my eyes on a single spot on the floor, not wanting to make Matthew more uncomfortable than he probably already is. I can see him shifting to face me after a few minutes. I look up slightly and our eyes meet. The first thing I notice about him is his hair. Most of it is a faded blue and his root are a clearly visible brunette. And his eyes... Oh god his eyes... You could drown in those ocean blue eyes...

I slightly shake my head before bringing myself to speak to him. "So you're Matthew?" I ask quietly and he shrugs in response. "Would you prefer if I just called you Matt?" He vaguely nods and laces his fingers on his lap. I can see communication becoming a problem in the future. "Well um, I just go by Dom." Matt just nods again. We sit there for a moment before he stands up and walks over to his bedside table. He digs through the drawers for a moment before he takes out a notebook and pencil. Matt sits back down across from me and starts writing. He passes the sheet to me and I notice that his handwriting is in cursive and is a little sloppy, some words harder to read than others.

How old are you? I'm 20 in June.

I look to Matt before answering. This entire time I've been with him, he just seems emotionless. "I actually turned 20 last month," I say, handing the paper back to him. Matt goes back to writing and I take a moment to admire him. He has very defined features. High and sharp cheekbones, nose that seems a little narrow (but not excessively so). His mouth seems to be a little small in proportion to the rest of his face, but it actually looks nice on him. He hand me the paper once again.

Saw in the music room with Chris + Tom. You drum?

"A little here and there," I mutter, handing the page back to him before I let myself fall backwards. I catch one more glance at him before closing my eyes. I think I saw a trace of a smile, but I'm not sure.