Dom's POV:
I'm sitting in my bed with my back against the wall, reading a book, when the door opens and Matt walks in. He sits down next to me even though it's a little tight for space. He looks over the page I'm on before scrambling to get his pen and paper out of his pocket. His handwriting is rushed and he's clearly excited.
That's my favourite book
"Really?" I ask, looking at him and he nods quickly. I turn the book over in my hand and examine the cover. It depicts a blurred man and the author's name is written in a black box in the centre. Below it in fine white text are the words Nineteen Eighty-Four.
What do you think of it so far?
"It's certainly interesting," I mutter. "But I'm not nearly far enough in to make an impression." Matt nods once again rests his head against my shoulder before writing out another message.
You know you've been here for like, 2 weeks, right?
I take a moment to think about his statement. "I guess you're right," I sigh as I return to my reading.
You can't keep avoiding therapy
"Well clearly I can because I'm doing so right now," I say, marking my page and setting the book in my lap because it's obvious I won't be doing anymore reading for now.
You're never going to get better if you don't talk about it
"I can talk to you," I say with a shrug. "That seems to help me."
You also can't rely on someone to make you feel better
"You're just strengthening my argument as to why therapy is pointless," I groan as I get out of bed, awkwardly climbing over Matt to do so. I pace the room for a few minutes before sitting down at the foot of my bed. The room is silent for a few seconds before I break. Tears start to fall down my face and I begin to sob as I bury my face in my hands. I hear Matt shift and I feel his thin arms around me. I don't try and break away from him. Instead I remove my hands from my face and hold Matt close, crying into his shoulder. After a minute or so I manage to calm myself down.
"I'm sorry," I sniff. "I don't know what came over me." Matt doesn't make an effort to respond. Instead he runs one of his hands up and down my back, places his other on the back of my neck, and rests his head against mine. I take a few deep breaths and pull away from him. I look into his eyes and he has the same look that he had the night he found me in the bathroom. The same sadness that makes my heart wrench. I continue to look at him and I notice the tears forming in his eyes.
"Don't cry," I whisper as I wipe away the first one that falls. "You're too beautiful to cry." I see Matt smile as a silent thank you. I rest my forehead against his and he lets me do so. I run my hands up his back to rest on his shoulder blades. He opens his mouth to speak and at first nothing comes out but after a moment he starts trying to form words.
"D... I... I... Dom..." He pauses and closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. "I lo... I love y... you... D... Dominic..." He opens his eyes and looks at me.
"I love you too," I say without hesitation. Matt's eyes light up and he pulls me back into a tight embrace.
"I love you I love you I love you," he says quickly and I can't help but smile to myself.
"I know," I whisper to him. "I love you too." Matt pulls me closer, refusing to let go. "You know, you have an amazing voice." I feel Matt smile against my skin. "You should speak for me more often."
"M... maybe," he laughs quietly, his voice full of hesitation yet I can't stop thinking about how it sounds. It's sweet and breathy and he seems to stumble over certain letters and sounds more than others. He pulls away slightly before speaking again. "Or may... maybe you... you can t... talk f... for the both of... of us. I d... don't wan... want to... I don't f... f... feel..."
"It's okay," I say, interrupting him. "Please don't feel like you have to talk for me." Matt just smiles and nods in response before placing one of his hands on my cheek. I rest my forehead against his and I can feel his warm breath against my lips. After a moment, I move one of my hands to the neck of his head and close the gap between us. Matt doesn't do anything at first, but he then closes his eyes and begins to kiss me back.
I do my best to savour the moment, memorising everything I can. The feel of Matt's lips against mine, the taste, and the oddly familiar warm feeling spreading across my body.
I remember what that feeling is.
This is what happiness feels like.
YOU ARE READING
Map of Your Head
Fanfiction"Selective mutism is a complex anxiety disorder characterized by a person's inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings. These people are sometimes able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, se...
