When Luck Runs Out

A Small Heaven in This Hell

I dreamt that night that I was walking off of the train, having somehow been cursed to win the games. Molly and Mrs. Hudson were in tears, but the left me to walk into the station alone, the dark gloomy tunnel leading me back into the District. I knew what was there, I knew what was waiting. There was this terrible ache in my chest, and I knew that was the fresh pain of a broken heart. Last time I walked this tunnel with John, hand in hand, the newly announced victor, and now I knew that when I return to the District John would be waiting for me there, tucked in a wooden box, his eyes cold and lifeless, his skin pale, his chest unmoving. I would have to watch them lower him into the ground, watch knowing there was something I could've done, something I should've done, but I failed, I let him down and I let him die. I walked through the tunnel and it opened into the light, where a crowd waited for me. But they weren't happy to see me, they all wore expressions of anger, yelling insults at me, calling me a traitor, a murder, I could distinctly make out Mrs. Watson, her face lines with tears, seeming to have aged ten years, cursing me, threatening me, telling me that I was the reason her son was dead...

I woke with a start, breathing heavily and staring all around me, looking to make sure that I was indeed still in the tent and it hadn't been a dream, that John was curled up next to me, safe as could be. He wasn't awake, but I was terrified, sweating and breathing as if I had just run a marathon. I couldn't see him, but in the darkness I pulled John closer, wrapping my arms tighter around him and promising him, and promising myself, that no matter what happened; I wouldn't let that dream become real. I wouldn't let him down like that, and it wouldn't be him but me, lying lifeless in the coffin, staring at the sky with eyes unseeing, never to wake up from the blade that damned me to eternal sleep. I couldn't fall back asleep that night, and if I did it was light, with one eye open, watching for anyone who wanted to rip my John from my arms. John stirred a little bit later, probably around seven o'clock, but it wasn't light out, so I was under the impression it would be a cloudy day.
"Good morning." he mumbled with a cute little yawn, like a kitten waking up from a nap.
"Good morning." I agreed.
"You sleep?" John asked.
"A little bit." I admitted.
"Nightmare?" John asked, and I nodded in guilt. "It's okay Sherlock, it's normal, and I know it must be tough without your morphine."
"I didn't use that every night, only when I needed it most." I insisted.
"And when did you need it most?" he asked.
"When I started to feel my mental wall breaking." I admitted.
"So every night?" John asked.
"Basically." I agreed with a laugh.
"What was it about?" John asked.
"The nightmare?" I asked.
"Yes." John nodded. I sighed, not really wanting to reveal what my brain had managed to conjure up through my sleep.
"You died, and I was victor, and I had to go back to District Twelve in shame." I admitted.
"Oh, Sherlock." He muttered, pulling me into a hug once more. But I knew he wasn't going to contradict that, I knew that he wasn't going to tell me that wasn't going to happen, because in his mind that was the near future, he was going to die. But not if I had anything to say about it, not if I could do my job, my only job, and sacrifice my meaningless life so that he could have his.
"Wakey wakey love birds!" Greg yelled, unzipping our tent and poking his head in. I groaned, rolling away from John at once so that I didn't get yelled at for public affection.
"Oh shut up, where's the snooze button?" John groaned.
"We have to get the tents down." Greg insisted.
"Why the heck, we just set them up?" I groaned.
"Haven't you noticed there's no sun? A storm's coming, and we need to get everything inside before we need to build an arc." Greg insisted. I groaned, but pulling myself to my feet, definitely not wanting to lose everything we had worked so hard to get.
"Alright then, I'll bite." I agreed.
"What?" Greg asked, holding the tent door open.
"Metaphor, like fishing. I'll bite, like a fish biting a hook." I shrugged.
"What a nerd." John decided, following me out of the tent. I found that Greg was right though, the sky was blanketed in large, thick storm clouds that looked like they could produce a tornado or something wicked. Of course I knew they could, because they weren't natural, they were Capital made, which meant they could be whatever the gamemakers wanted them to be. Jeanette was already working on pulling her tent down, her long hair pulled back into a messy bun, looking like death.
"I'm so tired." She groaned as she pulled a stake from the ground.
"Then work so that you have somewhere to sleep when night comes." Greg insisted. John and I worked on getting our tent down, and honestly we were a good team, in no time the stakes were up and we were parading our tent, still with the poles in it, into the mall. Then we proceeded to move in the food, water, weapons, fire wood, and all the other miscellaneous supplies. As I went in to grab the last of the fold up chairs the rain started to come down, lightly at first, but even as I folded them up it got harder and harder, until finally when I ran back into the dry building my hair was flopped to my face. Now, with everything inside, we shut the doors to the building. Greg lit the lantern, since the sun wasn't out to shed more light through the large windows, we were sitting in semidarkness against the railing, listening to the rain hitting the building in sheets, the wind howling against the brick, thunder rumbling outside.
"Good thing we got inside when we did." Greg decided, watching a flash of lightning spike across the sky, illuminating the building eerily.
"I'm hungry." Jeanette decided, grabbing a piece of beef jerky from the package and gnawing on it while she watched the rain hit the window.
"You think the gamemakers made this storm to drive us off of the roof?" I asked.
"Most likely." Greg agreed.
"So what's in here they want us to go to?" John asked, looking around the darkness suspiciously. Suddenly it didn't feel like so much of a safe haven, and the darkness surrounding our little circle of lamp light seemed terrifyingly unfamiliar.
"I can't really say." Greg admitted. I had to hope it was nothing. As the morning progressed, so did the storm, but nothing came at us from the dark, there were no mysterious shapes prowling through the shadows, no growls or howls that would imply the wolves were back. It was all peaceful except for the storm that was threatening to break down our building at any time.
"Can I go and get some books from the bookstore?" I asked, looking at Greg with a really bored expression.
"As long as you don't get attacked, because I doubt I'll hear you scream." He shrugged.
"I'll go with him." John offered. I got to my feet, grabbing one of the lamps and a sword, and then walking down the broken escalators.
"So, this is fun." John sighed.
"I really want to shower." I decided. John laughed, but I was being serious. How many days has it been, four? I felt disgusting, and I was sure we all smelled like crap.
"Well, there's plenty of water out there, knock yourself out." John shrugged.
"I'll pass." I decided. "Maybe just some deodorant couldn't go amiss."
"Got the bobby pin?" John asked. I nodded, holding up the hair pin and taking the lead to the book store. It was protected by a metal gate, but the treasures inside that waited for me were enough to probably get me to tear it down myself. I slid under the gate, pushing the bobby pin in the lock. This one only took about a minute, since the capital didn't care all that much about protecting some books. The lock clicked and the gate slid open, and we needed an angel chorus as the light shined over so many covers.
"Paradise." I decided, walking in. John just looked at me weird, but followed since I was the one with the light.
"You're such a nerd." He laughed as I loaded my arms with books, free books that I wouldn't get in trouble for stealing much less.
"I'm simply taking advantage of this glorious situation." I pointed out. John just rolled his eyes, but didn't have much time to comment since I shoved a couple of books into his arms. When I had finally loaded up as many books into our arms as I could, plus stuffed my pockets with book marks, we made our way back up the still escalators, juggling novels and textbooks in our arms, and finally when we made if back to camp we dumped the load on the ground in front of Greg and Jeanette.
"I got it open." I announced happily.
"Good job Sherlock, I guess." Greg agreed, poking one of the science books away from him as if its close proximity would give him an allergic reaction to information. I spent the rest of the stormy day reading by the lamp light, glaring at people who made too much noise and repositioning myself and the book every five minutes. It was probably the best time I've ever had in the arena, but everyone else seemed to be having a terrible time. Well, who needed them anyway, right? Near the end of my book though, the wind started to pick up, gusting at the walls so much that I thought the brick would crumble. But instead there was the largest shatter of glass I've ever heard, and one of the large picture windows on the top floor burst, glass and rain flying everywhere. We could hear the wind and the rain much clearer now, beating and gusting everywhere, it was like some dramatic tornado movie.
"What was that?" Greg yelled over the noise, all of us on our feet with our weapons drawn.
"The window blew out." I assured, going over to the railing and looking up at the destroyed window.
"That's not a problem, is it?" John asked.
"As long as we don't cut our feet as we walk through there. Just keep your shoes on." I decided.
"People could easily climb in through there." Jeanette decided.
"It's like nine stories up." John pointed out.
"We'll just need to keep our guard up, that's all." Greg decided. "There's nothing to worry about." But we all knew that there was a problem, it was something to worry about. There was one more entrance into our little safe haven, there was another way for Moran and Moriarty to taint our sanctuary, we were just a little bit more exposed. The storm blew into the night, but we couldn't even tell what night was really. It was always dark out, and it wasn't like we had a clock or anything, so we only based it off of how tired we all were. After what felt like a good five or so hours after the window blew apart I was feeling especially drowsy, and I could see it in everyone else's eyes that they felt the same. Jeanette's head was wobbling on her neck, trying to stay upright but also tempted to lean over on the banister and fall asleep. Greg was munching halfheartedly on a little cracker, but his eyes were dropping as well.
"I'd say it's time for some sleep." I decided.
"I second that." John agreed immediately.
"What time is it?" Greg asked.
"I don't know, sometime around eight or nine I suppose, but we woke up early so there is no way to know." I sighed, looking up to see through the glass ceiling. If the moon had been visible through the clouds I might have at least known it was night, but there was a thick layer of cumulonimbus's spraying rain and lightning down, so I couldn't see a thing.
"That's fine, I don't care, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep." Greg decided.
"We should have a guard." John decided.
"What, if someone climbs through the window?" Jeanette laughed, but John was serious.
"We're exposed, the Capital must've blown it in for a reason, because they know the careers have the means to get in." he insisted.
"We'll try to board it up tomorrow, but I'm sure nothing is going to happen tonight." Greg assured.
"John, I'm sure it'll be fine, no one is going to come inside through this storm." I insisted. John looked uneasy, eyeing the open window with newfound concern.
"Even if they had a ladder, it's bound to be metal, and not only with the rain make it slippery, but it might get struck by lightning. These games aren't just made to kill us; we're not the only pawns with targets on our backs." I pointed out.
"I'm keeping watch, just for a little while; it'll make me feel better." John decided, settling in on his chair a bit more assertively.
"Alright then, knock yourself out. I'm too tired to argue, and too grumpy to care, so goodnight to all." Greg decided, practically falling out of his foldout chair and wiggling into a sleeping bag, clutching a pillow to his head and closing his eyes.
"Yep, have fun with that. For the first time, Greg is right." Jeanette agreed, and she too got into a sleeping bag and fell asleep.
"Sorry John, but I really don't think there's any danger. I'll unzip the sleeping bag again, join me when you're ready." I decided, getting to my feet and pressing a kiss to the top of his head as a goodnight.
"Good night Sherlock." John agreed, sounding a little bit let down that I wasn't standing by him in this whole guard thing. But it was paranoia, there was no way anyone could get into our mall, it was too well fortified, the window was nine stories up and it was storming out there. We were safe. We had to be safe.