Like Sheaves Of Corn (#Wattys2016)

Sowing: Infatuation

There is nothing more that I want than getting a nice birthday gift from Kit. I just got to have it. I know it's an evil plan because he is dating Ruth but I just have to have it.

I really hope he gets something nice for me and I hope his birthday has passed because I'm way too broke to be giving him something in return. But if it hasn't, I'm ready to break bank for him if he does the same for me.

I'm desperate and I hate it. If he can just get me a birthday gift I will know how he feels about me and how much he's willing to put in for me.

It would be so cool if he gives me the gift at school in front of everyone. Wait, scratch that. I wouldn't be able to live it down, I can't risk people finding out about us, but what would I do if he called me aside? Would he want me to kiss him like last time? Like as payment of the gift or something? Would that mean we are together?

Oh God,

What if he doesn't get me a gift at all?

Hmm, calm done Lois. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, happy thoughts.

On that note,

Dear diary,

Kit dedicated a song to me today, it was sweet I guess. I'm not really into that kind of music but I guess it wasn't so bad.

I bumped into him on my way home from school and he asked to walk with me. We even took the long way around because he said he didn't want our time to end. I was so nervous because I thought he'd bring up the issue about me refusing to kiss him the other day and all but he's such a gentleman.

We just talked...well, he just talked and I kept nodding because words couldn't form in my mouth. I was sooo nervous.

But anyway, we talked and he made me listen to the song and at some point he kinda held my hand for a while. I liked that.

I just hate how nervous I was, I wish I wasn't such an idiot, maybe I could have said something better, or smarter or anything.

I've always dreamt about that kinda person, but now it all seems too much.
He says he is in love with me but everyone knows that he's with Ruth. I haven't come around to asking him how he plans on telling Ruth that he likes someone else...me. I hope this whole thing doesn't turn into a nasty cat fight.

I don't want to hurt Ruth but I think I like Kit. He makes me nervous but I guess that's just the butterflies, I've never had that with someone before. I'm so confused. This whole thing is turning me into a monster.

Ruth and I aren't close or anything but she is still my classmate. Should I just be with him but agree to keep it a secret? Would that work? Maybe I

Mom is calling, gotta go wash the dishes.