AMACon Book 2 Extension

How Long Will I Love You

Author: @rjandmengconvos

PROMPT: "I know so many last words but I will never know hers."

PROMPTER: @ninnabautista

LISTEN TO How Long Will I Love You by Ellie Goulding while reading..

ENJOY! Tweet me your thoughts after :)

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To my little man, Tisoy

I love you, always.

Dear Tisoy,

The night is quiet as I write this. I've finished writing for your brother and sister. I find writing for you a little bit harder. Maybe because I haven't seen you in a while and I really don't know what to say. You, my love, even when you were just a little boy—you've always managed to take my words away from me. You always went beyond expectations; you always made sure that I was going to be left speechless with whatever you're doing. I'm always stuck with six words: I am so proud of you.

When your dad and I found out that we were having another boy, I wanted to name you Alden Richards. I thought the names Alden Richards Reyes Faulkerson sounded good. Having a foreign sounding last name matched your equally foreign sounding first names. The name Alden is the combined name of your grandfathers. My dad—your papu, is called Albert. Your dad's dad—your lolo daddy, is called Dennis. I loved them both so much that I came up with the name Alden. The Richards happened when I was having lunch with my mom—your mamu and daddy's mom—your lola mommy. We were reading a book called "Never Grow Up" and the lead character is called Richards. Yes, Richards. Not Richard. Because the mother of the lead character wrote his name in cursive when he was born and the little curve in the end looked like an 's'. Thus, the name Richards. Alden Richards Reyes Faulkerson. One night, a week before I was due, I asked your dad if he wanted another kid and he said if we would have another one, he'd want a daughter. Two strong and brave brothers to protect our princess. Your papu told daddy that if he wanted you to be the last boy in our family, he should name you after him; a junior. As you may know by now, our family is all for superstitious beliefs and so we called you Richard Reyes Faulkerson JR., or as we fondly call you, RJ.

You were a little momma's boy. You were a little man, anak. You wanted to be like daddy. You said you wanted to make me smile the way daddy makes me. I didn't know you could distinguish smiles at the age of four but you knew how to. I was so proud of you. I'm sorry if daddy took that smile away with him when you were five. I know that you and kuya RD heard all the commotion upstairs when he was packing his bags while I cried in agony. Little you made your way to Rizza's—your then two year old sister—room and you slept on the floor and watched her until the morning. I felt stupid for crying. Kuya RD prepared some breakfast for me; granola bars and a banana. Any food that his seven year old arm could reach, he put it on the table. I want you to know that even if daddy took away my smile without intending to, kuya, you and baby Rizza filled the space in my heart effortlessly. It made me smile inside. It made me happy.

Papu died when you were twelve. He died while watching kuya RD play basketball. Everything went downhill from there, didn't it? I forgot to say sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry life went downhill after that. Papu was our post. Him and mamu were our posts. They held us together; they kept us alive because daddy never came back. When papu passed away, I had to get a full-time job. I had to leave the three of you at home and eventually, you had to live with mamu. I'm sorry, anak. All I wanted was to provide for our family. For kuya, you and Rizza. I succeeded in that. You all finished college with flying colours. In the process, I failed as a mom. Know that in all of my days, I regret being away from the three of you.