grey [lex luthor]

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

in apology for the latest update ever which was the last chapter <3

The car shuddered to death, as she parked it randomly on the rough stones that were his driveway. She swore to herself as she almost tripped on her heels, the night proving to be much more eventful than the gala she had planned to wear the shoes for. 

The manor was still illuminated, and she wondered if time had managed to freeze itself, letting her get through all she had to do, only to start again when she had finished. And that meant talking to Lex. She was already sure of what she was gonna say, it was the only thing in fact that she was sure of. 

As she took her heavy steps toward the manor, she saw him peering through the curtains of his so called, sun room, right smack in the middle of the estate, where the sun would both set and rise. He gave her a small smile, and she smiled back, he looked more dashing as ever, and suddenly her feet wanted to get to him faster. 

They were both very different people, she knew that. She had grown up in the breakfast, lunches, and dinners of cheerios, whilst he had caviar and champagne at his bequest. He was an extravagant person, who seemed to instead of radiate, demand arrogance and pride, whilst she collected it in little snippets of those who would have the extraordinary opportunity of knowing Bella Karberg. But they both didn't allow themselves to feel, it wasn't in their nature. Love was just a weakness to both of them, love wasn't in their equation of life, so they pushed it away. Surprisingly although, whatever did dictate their lives, had other plans, and so now here she was climbing the stairs, carpet plush under her feet, allowing herself to finally feel, and boy did it feel good. 

By the time she reached the top, she already saw that the door was slightly open, a certain smell of wood coming from in, as she could hear the subtle crackle of the fireplace. It was overwhelming, for the first time in her life, she lost something, and now she was going to get it back. 

Then she saw him, standing by the window with a glass of what looked like peach tea next to him, half consumed. Lex turned around to see her, his eyes even brightening at the sight of her. It was like the room had gone two shades lighter, she was glowing with an ethereal light he couldn't explain, as it only was in his eyes. She felt her tears come to the edge of her eyes, emotion overwhelming her with a passion she could not control. 

"Don't speak please," She took a quick and fast step towards him, placing her hand on his chest, as he opened his mouth slightly to say something. He obeyed, pursing his lips, if not looking quite jaded for a moment, then it passed.

Her other hand by her side was trembling now. Moments long past recurred in her brain once again, what if he were to say he couldn't love her, again? That the letter was a mistake at best and a regretful action at worst. She was so scared due to the fact he was such an unpredictable character, he could do anything at this point. So she took a deep breath, and braced herself. 

"I'm so sorry." She started off, her words no longer a scramble in her brain, she knew what she wanted, she wanted him, "I don't deserve you, nor do I deserve your love but, I have it, and I have no intention of ever letting it go again."

He moved closer to her, enveloping the hand on his chest with his own pair, his grey eyes staring right into hers, but they didn't give anything away, his whole face platonic. She almost wanted to melt into the red carpet, or at least blend in with the elaborately decorated walls. Her dress felt too constricting as she tried to breathe normally, and she noticed a crinkle in his pristine suit, and tried not to fix it. 

"I am not worthy of it, I know this because I am not a perfect person, I left you for God's sake and you did the same, you left me with a half a heart that I could not mend because you with all your emotional deficiencies and damn confusing mannerisms, had left me depending on those things." She loved the way his warm hands made hers fit like a glove, and she rambled on, unwilling to break her gaze although her eyes were quite glassy. "My love will always be love, but my trust will always be mingled with fear because I don't think I'll ever be worthy for you. But if I am worthy of it, I hope you will always love me; because if there was anything good and deserving in me, it would be me always loving you"

Silence dominated for a moment, her breathing uneven as she tried to gauge how he was feeling, as he gave nothing away. A strand of his copper hair flew into his face, but he did nothing to it, he stood still. 

"I love you Lex Luthor, with all of your person. I once thought that I couldn't because you didn't love me, but even if you didn't I would still love you. My love for you has not made me hurt, it has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you — I am forgetful of every thing, but  you, the feeling of you, the way you smile or the way you take my hands in yours and not say anything, because I can feel your trials in tribulations, your strengths and weaknesses, your everything — my life seems to stop there — I see no further, I feel no further. I can't express how every time you put your arms around me, and it has felt like home." She concluded herself with one last breath and took her gaze to the floor, her cheeks, her whole body hot because she just gave herself, again, to this man she wasn't sure would take her heart and not crush it. 

He took her face in his hands and lifted it up to face his own, and she could feel nothing as their hot breaths mixed with each other. Their meeting was like a two chemicals being heterogeneous, there was a reaction. and therefore both were completely transformed. 

His face contorted to one of relief, eyebrows furrowed a little, and he brushed her hair behind her ear, making skin tingle all around her body. He was so close, so so close. 

Lex didn't say anything, but instead closed their already close proximity, and kissed her. It wasn't like their kisses driven, fueled with passion, but this was one of delicatness, a feeling where they both finally gave in, and there was nothing else left. It was a kiss that was a testament to what they had accomplished, what they had to feel, what they were feeling. Because even as it was a whisper of a kiss, it was them, when they did not have each other, simply a whisper of who they could be. 

-

YES 

yes

YAY

x belle