THE DIFFERENT SHADES OF WHITE- A LOVE STORY#Wattys2014 (Book 1-TDSOW SERIES)

CHAPTER 5- Gulistan-e-Gulshan.

TO BE PUBLISHED THIS OCTOBER.

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   That night—when the party and Walima function came to an end, the Chairman requested me to stay at the Main house. I was very enthusiastic about it but as for Shehzad—he was as negative as ever.

   "We can't Chairman." He denied. "I'm tired and it will be a bother and besides I have to go for work tomorrow." he presented his excuses—but they seemed half hearted to me.

   The Chairman nodded his head. "You're right you must be very tired and you should rest now, because tomorrow you have a long flight and you won't be able to enjoy your honeymoon if you're all worn out." The Chairman patted Shehzad's shoulder, but the expression on his face and eyes showed that he was completely taken by surprise and lost his facial composure.

   "What do you mean? What flight and what honeymoon?" he asked in bewilderment. The Chairman gave him a warm inviting smile.

   "Didn't your secretary inform you? You're a newlywed man, Shehzad so there is no way that I would let you work especially on your honeymoon. You are young and you have such a beautiful wife. So go and enjoy yourself for once." The Chairman said with a lot of fervor. Shehzad sighed in exhaustion. It was obvious to me that he couldn't deny what the Chairman wanted from him.

   "And besides—you haven't had a day off or a vacation for two years ever since you took your father's place. So cut yourself some slack and give yourself some credit right Khadijah?" The Chairman winked at me. I was taken aback.

   "Y-yes most definitely." I replied after a little hesitation because I wasn't that aware of Shehzad's position. Shehzad gave me sharp glare when the Chairman turned to leave. I shrugged. What else was I suppose to do?

   When the Chairman escorted us to our Bedroom, I saw the bed and stopped in my tracks.

   It was decorated with yellow dandelions and red roses. My heart was exploding just by looking at it. Does that mean that we are going to do it tonight?

   Although Shehzad said that he didn't acknowledge me as his wife—but nonetheless, he was still a man and my husband on top of that. There was no telling what he could do to me tonight and I don't know if I'll be able to refuse him or not?

   My heart began to beat out of bounds and because of the diamond neck brace; it was getting harder to breath. I quickly ran to the Bathroom. But my heart wouldn't calm down.

   It was one thing that he was my husband and only he could take me; but I couldn't accept it as that. To me; handing off my virginity to someone whom I didn't even love was a complicated issue—I found it utterly embarrassing and terrifying.

   Shehzad was a pseudo Muslim so I know that much that to him, having sex with any woman wasn't a big deal to him. But to me— but for me; it is very special and I want to share it with someone I love.

   I retired to the bathroom first.

   I splashed my face with water. I was thinking too selfishly. There is no way that I could refuse myself to him. If not for myself, than it will cause God's displeasure and I cannot let that happen. And I had also decided that I will become useful to Shehzad so that he might come to have a better opinion about me.

   And this is an arranged marriage. If not now, than sooner or later, I will be able to capture Shehzad's heart—I have to do that by any means necessary.