Baby Girl

Chapter fifteen.

Ethan's P.O.V

its jut a matter of time, the doctors say. i feel it, i feel myself loosing touch with reality and getting more in place with insanity. just yesterday i was forgetting your name. I cried for a while, knowing id never be able to hold you again. Then, i began forgetting what you looked like. I banged my head bloody till i remembered. Im losing my head and I'm afraid. Im afraid of forgetting why i went insane. Im afraid of forgetting that i went insane because of you. Your love drove me insane.

Maggies P.O.V

Its been, i don't know how long its been since that night. Its been a year? Or two? Ive lost touch with Grayson too. Since that night he hasn't even sent a text. It still hurts. It does, really. But you leaving wasn't the end of the world. I thought it was. That day you left, i thought it was the end of the world. But eventually i stopped crying and I got up and off the floor and i woke up the next morning. It was not the end of the world. The sun had not exploded, nor had the continents been swallowed by the ocean.

I thought you leaving was the end of the world, and maybe it was, in a way. You leaving was the end of that world, the world with you and me in it, together. I think that world still exists, just not here. But in this world, I've gotten out of bed and chose to wear a pink shirt and shorts, i made myself some breakfast cereal and checked my phone and didn't have a text from you. It felt like the end of the world all over again.

I cannot tell you how many times its felt like the world has ended, like when i saw your face again and there was a vacant feeling. I went home that day and i cried so hard i forgot how to breath. But i got up again, washed my face and took my medicine and tried my best to keep a smile on till the end of the day.

I deleted your number so i wouldn't be able to call you on days like those. Days where i can hardly breath without you. I can hardly breath at the thought, that you're not here. I cant stop crying, and I'm so scared. What if you're the only one who's ever going to love me. Or worse, what if you're the only one i am ever going to be able to love like i loved you. The naive kind of love, i cant believe i was so lucky to love you, kind of love. Id cry in my room deep into the night. With tears smearing my lips. With my heart bleeding so hard i could feel it pour over the sides of my bed.
But you're gone.
You're gone.
I know you're gone.

Ethans P.O.V

The days after you were painful. So, so so painful. I cried, and i hurt, and i slept. Nothing good happened and no one tried to help.

There was the initial shock. You were gone. The only one that truly loved me was gone because of me. I didn't cry much. I felt numb. I felt empty. I felt absolutely nothing.

Then came the denial. I wanted you back and i screamed when i couldn't have you. I fell to my knees in the morning and cried to a god i didn't believe in, for you. But no one answered. Im so scared Maggie. Please come back. I don't wanna keep drinking. I don't wanna forget us.

I was standing around beside the bakery near the park, completely on my own.When my IPhone buzzed.

Nate: hey man, danny is having a party you should pass by his house.

I smiled thinking, finally something to take my mind off maggie.

Ethan: for sure man, see you there.

I turned of my phone and got walked to my car. Danny was one of Nates close friends. He'd always tell me how his parties always consisted of "alcohol,drugs and hot girls" Hopefully there was enough of all those things to keep my train of thoughts away from her.