Little White Lies | Book 4

Chapter 2: Fear

The next morning, I woke up late. My stomach growled, but I ignored it. Instead, I checked to see if Harry had written me back, and he hadn't. Sighing, I flopped back down on my bed, and stared up at the ceiling. Why wasn't he writing back? There was no way he could be mad at me. He was fine the day we left Hogwarts. What worried me the most, was the fact that the death of Sirius really upset him. I couldn't rule out the possibility that he could've killed himself. My stomach clenched at the thought of it, making me not so hungry anymore.

That was when my bedroom door opened. I looked over, and saw Draco standing there, holding a tray of food. "You missed breakfast," He informed me. "Oh, did I?" I replied sarcastically, still a bit angry from yesterday. "I get it if you're still mad. I was being kind of a git the other day." I scoffed, and sat up. "Kind of? I think not," He chuckled, and put the tray on my bedside table. "Okay, okay, I was being a complete ass. Better?" I smirked. "And?"

"And I'm really sorry. Times are tough right now, and I guess stress got the best of me. There's been a lot going on," He sighed, sitting down beside me. I rubbed his back, in attempt to comfort him. "You can tell me, you know. I won't tell anyone," He shook his head, burying it in his hands. "No, I can't tell you. You'll hate me, and I don't know if I could live with that." I leaned forward a bit, using my hand to turn his face towards me. "Draco, I could never hate you. Keeping it bottled up like this will only make you feel worse. Come on, how bad could it be?" A single tear slipped down his cheek, which I wiped away. "Believe me, Riley, it's bad. It's nothing compared to what you're probably thinking." I shrugged. "Oh well. I'm here for you Draco. Please talk to me."

He let out a soft sob, and laid his head on my shoulder. "They want me to...become one of them." I didn't need any further explanation. "Don't you have a choice?" I asked worriedly. "Sure; become a Death Eater, or die." I sighed, wrapping my arms around him while he cried. Nobody should have to go through something like this, not even a Malfoy. "Your mother won't help you?" He shook his head. "She'd probably rat me out. I'm scared, Riley. Never in my life have I been so afraid." I hugged him closer, resting my head on his. "It's okay to be scared, Draco. But, just know, that if you ever need help with anything, you let me know. I'll always be here for you, and I'll make sure to do whatever I can to keep it that way." He pulled back, giving me a soft smile. "Thank you, Riley. I don't think you know how much that means to me." I smiled back, using my thumbs to brush his remaining tears away. "Don't forget it,"

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A few days later, I sat in my bedroom alone, once again. Draco said he had some meeting to attend with his mother, but promised he'd come back in later. I waited anxiously, hoping that he was okay. This meeting was bound to be about him becoming a Death Eater and whatnot.

In attempt to distract myself from my worries, I tried writing another letter to Harry.

Dear Harry,

You're really beginning to worry me. I'm not sure why you're not writing back. By now, I should think that you're getting my letters. If you're mad at me for some reason, we can talk about it next time we see each other. But, please write something back so I know you're okay. 

I miss you!

Riley

Just after I signed my name, my bedroom door opened. Knowing it was Draco, I jumped up, and turned around. There he stood, looking worse than ever. His skin had almost a grayish tint to it, and his eyes were bloodshot. "Draco, what happened?" I asked, rushing over to him. He slowly rolled up his left sleeve, revealing a tattoo of the Dark Mark on his wrist. The skin around it was dark red. I pulled him the rest of the way in, closing the door behind me. "It hurts, Riley." He cried, breaking down into tears on the floor. I crouched down in front of him, pulling him into my arms. "Shh, it's alright. I'm here now," I whispered soothingly. "I don't want this! I don't want to be evil like them, and kill people!" He sobbed. "Then don't, Draco. Don't kill people, don't hurt anyone. A silly little mark isn't going to change who you are." He reached up, clutching my shirt in his fists. "He'll make me! He'll kill me if I don't!"

"He won't make you kill anyone. There's only one person in the entire world Voldemort wants to kill, and that's Harry. It's his job to kill him, not yours. You're only 16, Draco. Chances are, you probably won't have to kill anyone. It'll be okay." He nodded, but continued to cry. "Why don't you go to sleep for a while, to get your mind off things? You'll feel a lot better," I said. 

We both got up off the floor, and walked over to my unmade bed. Draco kicked off his shoes, and laid down on one of the pillows. I pulled the blankets over him, and smiled softly at him. "Get some rest, okay?" He moved over a little, and looked up at me. "Mind laying with me for a bit?" Although I felt guilty for doing that to Harry, I couldn't say no. It wasn't like I was kissing him or anything, so I guess it was okay. So, I laid down beside him, cuddling into his side, before we both fell asleep.